Bullets of updates.

• I am close to finishing chapter three of the dissertation. However, the motivation is seeping away again, and I really need to push through.
• This week is Spring Break at one of the three schools where I teach. This is good, because I have MWF completely off. It is bad, because I really don't want to teach my Tu/Th night classes. Then again, I never really want to, and they're always fine.
• After I finish chapter three, I will probably have to approach the re-structuring issue of the dissertation. I think it might be a good idea to edit chapter one next, and struggle with the structure issue while I do that. I also have to catch up on some newer texts to start/finish chapter four, so it's a good time to start editing. I think.
• No job news yet. Seriously: no bad job news, just none at all. I got a letter from a job I'd written off months ago, saying that they apologized for the length of the search, but that they were still in process.
• It's not that I'm crazy-busy, but I'm fairly busy and fighting off the depression thing. I'm sure Spring will help... in fact, the slowly lengthening daylight is already helping. DST is March 11th, people...
• Oh, and with the night teaching: I've been trying to make the hour-long drives as entertaining as possible, but I still get pissy when I have to leave for class. I need attitude adjustment, I really do.
  

Keep the flue closed!

I woke up this morning to one crazed cat and two rather large birds in the bedroom. Apparently the fireplace flue was open, and down came first one, then another... Winter the cat was chasing them around until one flew directly at her, and then she turned tail faster than you can imagine.

This is not a great way to wake up. I finally got the back door open (yes, our bedroom has an outside door) and the birds eventually flew out.

My father is back in the hospital. Last night around 3am here - midnight on the other coast - they were running a MRI on him; if that's clear, they'll probably send him home today. I really have no idea what's going on.

Accomplishing stuff: not a bad feeling.

I'm halfway through chapter three.

Now, this is the rough draft, and it's in horrible shape, and it needs lots of work... but, at the same time, the whole chapter is actually there in "needs work" form. In some places it just says "discuss this concept" but I know what concept I'm discussing. It's just a matter of writing.

This is crazy. Crazier still is that, with the way I intend to rework things, now, I only have one chapter after this to write. (I'm subdividing some of my chapters and expanding them... rather than five big chapters there are four, which will become seven smaller ones, I think.)

The "write a little every day" thing has worked. I'm into a groove, now, and I'm not stopping.

Grrrr....

Yesterday I didn't do any of my hard stuff: breakfast, gym, or diss. page.

These are quite obviously my issues, although having a daily schedule is helping me keep ahead of other things (like grading and lectures). In fact, I'm so ahead right now that I have no prep or grading to do for today or tomorrow...

I leave for class at 2:30 today, and have set two major goals before that:
11:40 - noon: 20 minutes on bike
12:30 - 1 (or one page): dissertation writing at home

Baby steps, still.

Just thinking about the half hour of dissertation writing is actually making me nauseous. I'm not kidding. Obviously there's some major issue going on here that I need to work through... you'd think I hadn't written two chapters of this thing, already.

(I have some idea of what the problem is, but I don't have time to blog about it in detail. It's basically that my topic seems to have changed vastly since my proposal, and the ethnographic component is not at all what it was intended to be. I need to email my advisors and discuss this with them - that it's way more theory and way less observation - but I fear the response.)

hooray for goals!

I did everything today *but* eat breakfast. Okay, and the gym, but I fear the gym and I still did the cardio...

For tomorrow (difficult stuff still italicized):

• Up at 7am
• Eat breakfast
• Into the office by 8:30am
• Write one page of dissertation
• Finish grading papers
• Classes 10:30-12:30
• Lunch? (Do I bring lunch? Or buy it? Erk.)
• Meeting at 1:30
• Go to gym for 1/2 hour (treadmill)
• More grading (different class)
• Cook dinner
• Rewarding glass of wine

I know this counts as dull blogging, but apparently it helps.

Oh, and following on that idea that blogging finds lost objects... my cell phone is totally missing. I looked all over today, and while I finally found the charger, the phone is AWOL.

Also, I think I need stars for days I successfully accomplish hard things. Today I get a star.

behind, already.

I had a list of goals for today, and I'm running an hour behind. Well, sort of... I've pretty much taken care of lectures already, so it might work out.

• Up at 8am (Got up at 9. It's harder when I don't have class until 6pm.)
• eat breakfast (Does coffee count?)
• Into the office by 10am (Let's make that 11am.)
• Write lecture (This is done already! So I'm not in the office, but still working...)
• Write one page of dissertation
• Lunch with friend
• Go to gym for 1/2 hour (This is getting dropped - surprise! - for 20 min. of bike at home.)
• Finish lecture (Done early, even!!)
  
• Office hours/class 5-10pm
• Nice glass of wine at home

Two of my long-term goals are to cut out beer entirely on weekdays (please, people, I'm not giving it up on weekends) and to fit in all my size 10 clothes by the end of the semester (pound-wise, that would be about 10 pounds). These goals seem to go together quite nicely.

Update: So far, so good. It's almost 4pm, and I'm having a cup of tea and screening some video clips before leaving for my night class. No gym, but I did good cardio on the exercise bike here, and I think that counts for something. Gym might need to be a MWF thing.

Bullets of Badness.

(I did "bullets of good" last week.)

• Today ended up being the day my parents took Sam the Cat into the vet. They took him in last Thursday, but my mom couldn't go through with it. My dad, typically, does not deal well with this kind of thing and is being an ass. Mum said he was very upset, but when I called to offer some consolation, his response was "well, your cat's next." Yes, thanks, dad.
  
• Not surprisingly, Mr. Squirrel did not get an on-campus interview with TU.
• More surprisingly, I have not had the call on a one-year visiting quite close to here. I seemed to fit so well, but they said we'd hear end-of-January. Yes, it could still be that they haven't called anyone, or that I'm second-tier... but it seems more likely that I'm not getting a call.
• Mr. Squirrel is now sick, and I'm sure I'll get it.
  

On not being an ass.

Departments in our field are treating job candidates very poorly.

Today, I share with you the ongoing saga of Mr. Squirrel and the Campus Interview.

Mr. Squirrel has had several phone interviews with Teaching University. Each time, TU has been very positive, and told him where he stands in the process: "we're down to five people," "you're in the final three," and so on.

After the last phone interview, they told him they'd be deciding on campus interviews (we assumed they were bringing two people) and gave him a specific date to expect a call, either way. Several days after that date, they finally called. Mr. Squirrel was not home, and the chair left a message saying "I'll reach him tomorrow (Wednesday)." After waiting 'til 2pm Wednesday, Mr. Squirrel called them, and left a message with his hours for the rest of the week.

No call on Thursday, no call today. Finally, Mr. Squirrel calls - this was about half an hour ago - and the department secretary says "oh, yes, the chair is in... let me transfer you." The chair does not answer his phone, and when Mr. Squirrel calls back to leave a message with the secretary, she doesn't answer her phone.

This is horrible, and ridiculous. When someone makes it to the final three, you simply don't treat them like this, whether or not you're bringing them to campus.

I realize people are uncomfortable when they have to break bad news and all that, but it's part of their job. If they can't handle it professionally, they need to delegate it to someone else. Similar things have happened over and over again in our job searches, and I really hope each department realizes that people remember this shit... unless you're some highly ranked school, being an ass to your candidates is a really bad idea. It's a bad idea in any case, but it seems as though the departments who are trying to build their reputations should make a special effort to avoid this kind of thing.

Caring less...

Our family cat is dying. Sam is 17 (at least) and has weighed about 25 pounds for most of his life. We were lucky to have him for so long.

Apparently he has cancer throughout his entire body: lungs, brain, liver, and more. Lest you think my parents are bad cat parents, I can tell you that he's had yearly vet visits and has shown no signs of illness until this week. They brought him home after the diagnosis, hoping that he would recover enough to die there. Unfortunately, he has stopped eating, drinking, and is appearing to be in great pain; they'll take him in today and stay with him while he's euthanized.

I'm bawling like a little kid right now. I know he's had a good life, and I know it's better that he not spend his last days in pain... I'm just so sad.

The "caring less" part, by the way, is about class: I was all nervous this morning about class, and right now I don't care at all. Fuck 'em if they don't like me or my class... it really doesn't matter.