Sunday, September 30, 2007

Selfish Sunday

Three of my four classes are going really well. Or well enough that I'm not overly worried about them, I guess. The fourth one is a bit of a struggle, but it's a topic that should be easy for me to teach. I've been over-preparing for it, which is generally not a good thing. I was hoping that this particular college would keep me on next semester, which is where my Horrible Thursday comes into play...

(Very) long story short, I found out they're not keeping me. That news was depressing enough (oi! wherefore is the money for next semester???) but the way it was delivered triggered another one of those smack-in-the-forehead realizations that adjuncts are not human beings. I've been treated amazingly well at my "primary" adjuncting job, and I had started to think - despite all clues otherwise - that it was normal to be treated respectfully. Uh, no.

I should add, I'm sure the guy delivering the news didn't mean to be disrespectful... it just would never have occurred to him.

So, rather than working my ass off for these classes, they are going on the back burner while I churn out both my conference paper and chapter three.

Back in the real world, there was an attempted raid on the house next to us, last night. It was totally crazy: first came the helicopter, which started circling our block. Then - rapidly - came several police cars and a SWAT van. Men in bullet-proof vests with big guns started jumping out of the van and taking up position in front of our house.

It all lasted about 15 minutes. Just as we were both starting to get a little nervous - I think it set in that yes, there could be gunfire - everyone jumped back in the van and left. I swear, they cleared out in 30 seconds. We have some idea why this would happen: our neighbors appear to be hard-core drug dealers. There have been a couple incidents in the past that suggest they may be much worse than that, too. However, I think they might be gone, now.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

With some trepidation, I post my to-do list.

- grade 10 exams for Class A
- check papers for Class B
- reread texts for Class A and take a few swipes at lecture for tomorrow

- revise ch. 2: pg. 1
- read over notes for conference paper

I've settled in somewhat to my semester, but it's now (already!) the end of Week Five. Work-of-my-own has not yet materialized. Am still eying egg timers, but they seem too expensive.

Itty bitty steps, people.

ETA: I try to stay on campus between my classes and this weekly meeting we have, but with getting up so early (yes, 6am is early for me) I'm always exhausted by mid-afternoon. The last several weeks I've ended up falling asleep in my office. If I came home, I'd have (max) two hours before driving back, and the drive isn't short. This is why I stay.

This is also why I have my own work listed up there.

However, I have a hard time getting past the "tired as all hell" part to the "work" part.

ETA #2: Wow. Yesterday was sucky. I did manage to get quite a bit of work done on the conference paper (which overlaps with the dissertation, so that's doubly useful and sorta counts).
However, I had a rather disappointing meeting at school that sent me into a spiral of depression and outright sobbing last night. I finally have realized (again?) that revising ch. 2 is less important than writing chs. 3 & 4. Fuck revisions, at this point.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Aw, hell.

Author Robert Jordan Dies

Damn my mailwhore.

My mailwhore is taunting me.

There's a package that should be in my mailbox at this very moment, and it's not.

Usually, around 3pm, mailwhore drives his truck around our corner, stops in front of the house, and delivers mail up and down our block. Today, he drove around the corner three damn times in an hour, and didn't stop.

Finally, he drove around the corner and stopped, only to take out a snack.

AAaaaarrrGGGGhhhhhhhHHHHH.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

I'll say it again...

People who tell you that there are no withdrawals from pot? They are clinically insane.

No, I do not smoke pot. I imagine that if I did, I would have withdrawals if I had to discontinue it abruptly. And then I'd probably be an ass to people in my immediate vicinity.

Grrrr.

The painting story...

When I was in undergrad, I attended a variety of schools. By the time I got serious about my education, my parents were no longer willing to foot the entire bill, and so I worked part- to full- time in my junior and senior years.

Where I lived, jobs paid the bare minimum wage. Housing was cheap, but $4.25/hour is still painful.

One day, I decided to look into the 'modeling for art classes' thing. There were many reasons: First, it was rumored to pay $10/hour. Second, posing for 10 hours/week sounded better than the equivalent 20 hours of minimum-wage labor. Third, I had body image issues. That last was fairly important: I was, at the time, 5'7" and a size 2 -- any issues I had should have come from being too thin. And actually, I was trying to put on weight at the time, but I had been very sick not long before (see #104 on the list) and weight gain wasn't working.

I think I just had some non-focused body issues... I didn't like the way I looked, even though I had lots of positive feedback. That statement could probably be made by most college-age women, yes?

Anyway, the art classes at school already had models, but I was "picked up" by a local artist. At times I would pose for him, and at times for private classes he gave in the community. These were two very different experiences... I remember dragging my friend with me to the first class and having him wait in the car while I posed. It was harder than I thought: the class expected some kind of experience posing - which I didn't have - and the length of time you had to hold poses verged on impossible. Plus, it was freezing cold.

When I posed for the artist himself, it was always slightly creepy. I did, in fact, meet his wife, and she was always nearby (but not ever in the studio). He was never anything but professional, but I think the (valid!) worries trained into me were impossible to completely get over. The artist got fairly famous for a period of time, after one of his paintings (not one of me) was banned from an exhibit.

The paintings I saw were great. I found it fascinating that I could recognize my figure in paintings, even before they were finished -- I later posed for someone doing bronze work, and had the same reaction. ("Hey! Those are my thighs!")

I got back in touch with the artist a couple years ago, and he was going to send me .pdfs of the paintings (but didn't, and I didn't follow up on it). Now that I'm thinking about it, I may try contacting him again to get those -- I suppose if there are nudes of you out there as a 19 year old, you should have one!

Monday, September 10, 2007

Seen at Canada's!!! (I forgot to add that bit, earlier!)

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea (by the way, I can't for the life of me figure out if this means "watched a storm while at sea" or "watched a storm that was out at sea." If the first, no. If the second, obviously yes.)
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg (but I think large glaciers should count.)
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen an eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 10 provinces or all 50 states (49/50, right now)
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow (goat, but not cow)
56. Alphabetized your cds
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Posed nude in front of strangers
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for 6 hours straight (uh, six hours is nothing.)
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie (so long as we're not talking professional.)
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake Dead River (wtf is the "snake dead river"? I've trained for crew on the Snake River).
82. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Had a one-night stand
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone (hmmm... questioning what counts, here.)
92. Buried one of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in aisles at Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Created and named your own constellation of stars
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge (halfway)
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an illness that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad
135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146: Dyed your hair
147: Been a DJ
148: Shaved your head
149: Caused a car accident
150: Saved someone's life

Friday, September 7, 2007

Is pictures for you.

I finally went camping.

First, our campsite on the pond.
Second, our attempt at perc coffee and bacon. (The bacon was very good. The scrambled eggs? Not so much.)

Thursday, September 6, 2007

So. Tired.

I left the house at 7:30 this morning.
I got back at 6pm.

All this time was spent on campus, either teaching, prepping, or in a meeting. (Okay, except for the 20 min. that I fell asleep in my office before the meeting.)

Is tired. Bed nao? K thx.

In other news, my new car is at the dealership. As I may or may not have blogged about, there was a flooding incident with my car earlier this year and I'm uncomfortable keeping said car after the warranty runs out in November. The electrical system has already shown signs of damage, even though the car was drained almost immediately.

So, new car. Same payments (dear gosh, let it remain so), full warranty, more to pay off later. I'm far, far better with having an ongoing regular car payment than I am with the possibility of expensive repairs on my current budget. The car payment I can predict; the repairs I cannot.

ETA: I think I've officially passed "so tired" into "completely crazed." It's now 12:45 am and I'm still up. Must get up at 8 tomorrow, so I really should go to bed soon.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

I am talking to myself out loud. A lot.

Usually if I do this, there's a purpose. For example, I'll say (out loud): "don't forget to take the trash out," and it helps me to remember... at least, I pretend it does. When I get busy, however, my self-talk gets briefer and - I would guess - makes less sense to the outside listener.

Just now, I caught myself doing a mental checklist and saying "okay" after each item. If anyone was listening, I would sound completely insane.

Uh, luckily, I don't think anyone is eavesdropping on me. If I did, there would be other issues to discuss.