Friday, March 30, 2007

Hello, Friday morning!

I'm this close to having a break. This close. Next weekend is *gasp* a five-day weekend, followed by day of showing a really cool TV show in class. So that's really six days off, I tell ya. In a row.

I just accepted my fifth class for next semester. Is that crazed? I've been teaching the 4/4 load for awhile, and I've taught all these before but one... and it will mean a good money semester, because two of the classes are well paid.

Honestly? I realized that if I took this one-night-a-week course, I could pay back a lot of credit card debt next semester, and even have the occasional dinner out.

Fall is also an easier semester in some ways, because the date for Thanksgiving break is set in stone (unlike Spring break). Rather than having a day off here, and a day off there (here a day, there a day, everywhere a day day?) it's a single vacation period for all schools... er, much like Easter, I guess. Except, longer. I know many schools have a shorter "fall break" as well, about halfway through the semester, but for some reason it's always not on days when I teach.

Anyway, wish me luck on the rescheduling I'm shooting for... I'm trying to get two of my classes scheduled for MW, which would mean a pretty intense four-day schedule, but no Friday class.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Mood: bad to evil

Why can moods change on a dime? I was feeling pretty good about today in general - prepared for my night class, a bit behind on grading but close to being caught up, well-rested - and suddenly I'm just feeling... evil. Like, in such a bad mood that I could happily throw and break things.

Part of it is that I can't work out my TV components, which is just plain silly. Months ago, Mr. Squirrel tried to "fix something" by rearranging the cords between the DVR, DVD, VCR and TV. Ever since then, the whole system has been messed up, but it's such a pain in the ass to get behind the TV that I haven't bothered to fix it. Now, when I really wanted to copy something from the DVR to a VHS tape for class, I can't. And I spent 1/2 hour trying to crawl over, around, and under things to fix it, and it didn't help.

Arrrrrrggghhhhhh!!!

Other than that, things are just fine, I guess. I still have to write a paper for a rapidly approaching conference, and straighten out my funding for it (so that I can actually go!)... and I have a book review to write by Friday that I keep meaning to start...

Sigh. I think the lack of a "real" Spring Break makes things worse. I certainly could have used a full week off, I tell you.

Later, update: mood improving. May need more coffee.

Though I'm disappointed that nothing interesting came in the mail, today, I'm feeling slightly better after a shower and some Hollywood Babylon ("glittering Egyptian amber and heliotrope, infused with the sweetness of strawberry and vanilla - dragged into debauch by lusty red musk and a dribble of black cherry"). It's sweet, but not sticky-sweet.

Have made a 4-day To Do List, which looks utterly horrible but can probably be accomplished. I have stopped trying to grade more than 10-15 papers in one sitting, so there are multiple "grade papers" periods throughout these four days.

I may let my class out early tonight. I keep saying this - I've said it every night this semester - but I really may do it this time.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Today, I am wearing Lilith, of the BPAL Excolo blends.

Oh my goodness. I loved this in the bottle, although it smelled very sweet. On me, it's no longer sweet... it's rather very spicy and wine-like, with an afterthought of caramel.

I seriously want to lick my wrist, right now.

Monday, March 12, 2007

I'm feeling a desire to do some Spring cleaning. Not house-wise (have already started that) but for the body.

Problem is, this is very not me. As in, I have no idea where to start.

I've thought about just going for an organic veggie/brown rice week -- if I make a kick ass vegetable soup this weekend, I'd be more likely to do that. I make a good lentil stew, too.

It just feels like... damn. I have some bad habits, and I need to break them.

Monday.

I might have sort of failed to do anything productive this weekend.

Okay, "might have" is an understatement.

I have a stack of papers that didn't get graded (erk), a dissertation chapter that didn't get looked at (eek), and a bunch of "Firefly" episodes that didn't get watched (damn).

However, it's Monday. One of my three schools is on break this week, which makes me pretty happy. Also, along with DST came some warmer weather, and so my goal of "getting ass out of house" is looking quite possible. I plan to take a walk.

Also, last week I very definitely did not stick to the "no beer on weekdays" plan. If I can't be better about separating "done with work for the day" from "weekend," there might have to be (gasp) a total and complete ban on beer for awhile.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Mmmmm.... Oils.....

After reading Buzz's latest post about BPAL, I had to buy some imp's ears.

I picked all six from the Bewitching Brews...
Bewitched: Deep, luscious green and berry scents that evoke images of woodland witchcraft and the raw power of nature: blackberry, sage, green tea, wild berries and dark musk.
Chimera: The fiery, volatile scent of cinnamon, thickened by myrrh, honeysuckle, and copal.
Dee: soft English leather, rosewood and tonka with a hint of incense, parchment and soft woods.
Intrigue: Black palm, with cocoa, fig and shadowy wooded notes.
Lurid: black currant, Bulgarian lavender and white musk with a dollop of thick resin and a voltaic charge of ozone notes.
Morgause: A bouquet of five night-blooming flowers deepened by dusky violet, purple fruits and the barest breath of medieval incenses.

I probably should try some Proserpine. Actually, I'm going to have a hard time not trying almost everything here. This is probably why I had the site bookmarked but refused to go back there??? I also sorta want a t-shirt, but the one I really want is sold out. I saw it and suddenly thought "wow, that would be really interesting under my far-too-conservative black suit!" I may now have to go with this one instead.

Thursday, March 8, 2007

something completely different

(a no-whining post)

Last week, I noticed a new version of Robin Hood on BBC America. I am a sucker for Robin Hood shows of any kind, and so I watched. It wasn't outstanding, but I'm willing to give it a chance (which means it's on the DVR list until further notice).

I was reminded, though, of a series on (I think?) Showtime when I was younger. It was Robin Hood, but it was a bit dark and eerie, and I loved it. As it turns out, this version was what I was remembering, and I have to laugh, now, at the pagan bits in it.

Is it really any wonder I ended up where I have, when that was the stuff I watched as a kid? I know my favorite books as a kid were by Ruth Chew...

On an even lighter note (see? I'm really trying, here!) I have a Firefly/Serenity weekend planned. My upcoming conference (not Big Damn Conference) paper is about this series and the film, so I must spend the weekend watching all the episodes, the commentaries, the film, and the film commentary.

Darn.

... and the ugly.

I woke up this morning with that horrible, sinking feeling in my stomach.

Last night was not good. After my worries about BitchAdvisor had somewhat passed, I got an email from GoodAdvisor that had me (once again, this week) in tears.

I sent ch. 2 months ago with the warning that it was a very rough draft, but that I needed to get it off my hands for awhile and wanted to show some progress... after all, for me, 30 pages of anything is progress, even if it needs reworking.

Last night's email, while still generally nice in tone, essentially said that the chapter was utter shit, and that my writing was a disaster... that the basic structure was there, but that the "presentation" was horrible.

See, the one thing I can generally count on is that my academic writing is good. It's not always great, but it's good enough to get me through a lot of shit. I got honors on my M.A. thesis, and I hadn't even edited the fucker when I turned it in... so while I can handle criticism about content with no problems at all, I've never had to deal with criticism about my writing style. Ever. (Note: I even helped Sasha rewrite the first chapter of his dissertation, and his advisor, not knowing it was me, said "oh, you found yourself a very good editor!" So it's not that I'm crazed about this... I really can write and edit.)

I'm not saying my blog writing is good, by the way. Maybe I should "use" the blog to work on my writing, but this is still more of an outlet for anxiety than anything else. I certainly don't consider it an "academic blog."

What sucks, for me, is that I don't have anyone else to get basic feedback from before I edit things. The way I was seeing it, at the time, was that I could rewrite the chapter from what I had, or I could send it in and get some comments - right direction, wrong direction? - and then revise it. The first seemed like a complete waste of time, as I'd been beating my head into the wall over it for weeks already.

Now I have some comments on 1 & 2, at least, and working versions of 3 and most of 4 that I will not be sending in yet. I'm going back to rework the first chapter, starting Sunday. It will then go to my department chair at Small Private College where I work, as she's volunteered to read and edit the whole thing. Then, I'll give it back to the advisors, and hope the response is better.

Good gosh. I was starting to go for "March sucks," but I've decided that it's the end of Winter instead. DST on Sunday is as good a time as any to signal change, or - barring that - Spring Equinox.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Good and Bad:

The Good: I set a defense date. Seriously, can you believe that? I set one. It's close - July 20th, to be exact - but not too close. I'll have plenty of time to rework stuff, yet still finish before the Fall semester starts. (Read: am still eligible for the really cool post-doc I applied for.)

The Bad: My "primary" advisor, the one who asked me (seemingly out of the blue) to set the date, has yet to respond with anything other than a one-word email: "thanks." This was nearly two weeks ago... I'm still waiting for any kind of confirmation or commentary on the several questions I asked in the email before that.
In short, she doesn't want to be on this project, I know that, and she's sucking most of my happy energy away by being a bitch about this. Setting a dissertation date should be... exciting? I was excited for about a day, and now I'm back to worrying that she's going to undermine this, somehow.

The Good: Got my proposal submitted to Big Damn Conference, and have some pretty darn cool people to work with. The paper is also quite easy to write, and should be lower pressure than the last one I presented there.

The Bad: There's not a lot bad about this one, except that I have big, ugly, presentation fear. Am trying to get over it by presenting at smaller conferences. In fact, have one coming up in early April on a really cool topic (which I need to write... hmmmm) but still live in fear of presenting at Big Damn Conference.

The Bad: My car flooded. No, not as in "flooded the engine with gas," actually flooded-with-water. Apparently the drain on the sunroof backed up, causing the cabin to fill with about 6 inches of water. The car had to be towed to a city two hours away, as that was the closest dealership for my crazy car.

The Good: After much fear, it turns out that everything - towing, service, fixing - is totally covered. I only found this out after quite literally breaking down and sobbing when I realized the water had (not surprisingly) shorted out my entire electrical system.