Summing up January

I've been going back and forth about posting this all day. I think I'm just a bit down, in general, and I'm not sure if posting about it is worthwhile. I guess I'm posting it with that caveat: this post sucks.

Possibly the most disappointing thing about this month was the lack of interviews. I applied for very few positions this year - four total, I think - but two of them were spot-on. One was a two-year (and they've hired ABD's way further out from completion in the past) and one was only a year and definitely takes ABD's every year they do this. So it's not the lack of dissertation, in this case.

With the one-year, I know my advisor dropped the ball again -- she didn't even try to get my letter in on time, and it ended up there two weeks after the deadline. I did contact the chair of the committee directly to explain that my advisor was out of town, etc., and she seemed understanding... but the end of January has come, and no interview.

How many people in the area could have possibly applied for this? It's a one-year, it's in the middle of nowhere, and I just don't understand.

I should be happy with my renewed interest in the dissertation, although I'm not really feeling it today (uh, the interest, that is. Or the happiness, actually). I'm feeling very positive that I can complete it, although I have worries about the rest of the process.

In fact, I suppose I'm just worried. With no job on the horizon for next fall, things could get difficult. I have some adjunct work already lined up, but two classes won't cover bills. I know that it will work out, somehow, but I feel down about just about everything academic.

On the personal/family side of things, January was fine. Ups and downs, obviously, but overall an okay month. Probably would have been better without the three weeks of illness.

I should have known.

When a student adds a class late, finds out it's a seminar (surprise! It's listed as such!) and then comments "oh, good... I like to talk..."

Run, people. I should have. Actually, I should have grabbed the add slip, torn it into tiny pieces, and sprinted to my car.

Yes, indeed, you like to talk. Unfortunately, derogatory comments about gay and bisexual lifestyles do NOT count as "critical thought" about the article. No. No they don't. Also, interrupting discussion with "that's just wrong!" is not going to earn you participation points.

*le sigh* I have a feeling Friday is going to be "we need to talk after class" day.

On edit: Only half a page written today, and it's not even typed. Sometimes I prefer writing (really writing -- longhand) to typing, so it's not necessarily a bad thing... in fact, my entire MA thesis was written out on yellow legal pads.

• One of my goals for today is a return to the exercise bike. This was supposed to happen about 20 minutes ago, but the batteries (which control the tension settings) are dead. Since I'm obviously not going out into the suddenly-20-degree weather until absolutely necessary, the bike will have to wait until this afternoon.
• I got on the scale for the first time in awhile, assuming that I would have gained back most of the weight I lost at the end of last year. Oddly enough, I haven't: I'm at the same weight I was at before the conference in November (and before a holiday season of much drinking). I think the lesson, here, is that maintaining my weight isn't going to be a major issue -- once I lose it, it stays off.
• I'm still worried about my class, despite seeing interested looks on most faces and having already had some good feedback about the structure. I know that nervousness is normal during the first week of a class, but I'm having to resort to a "one day at a time" type of mantra. In this, I constantly assure myself that I can end class early and the world will not screech to a halt; that - if necessary - I have plenty of discussion starters; that I can always have them free-write if things go totally south. None of this is stopping the dread that creeps up before I have to leave for class...

Nifty!

Thanks to the crazy itineraries at RyanAir, it looks like we can fly into south-coastal Croatia and out of Budapest. I've been saying that Ljubljana, while obviously cool and interesting, would better be added on to a trip involving Venice, Trieste, Graz, and Vienna... if we can skip Ljubljana for now, we can have far more time in Albania and Bulgaria.

So I'm thinking that we book a flight into London and out of Frankfurt (two of the cheaper options, from the U.S.) and then super-cheap RyanAir tickets to Zadar from London and out of Budapest to Frankfurt. By super-cheap, by the way, I mean US$14 one way.

On edit: yes, I wrote two pages today. I should feel good about that, but I really don't.

One of our cats is shitting outside the litter box. The boxes are spotlessly clean - thanks to this contraption, which makes the cleaning much easier - yet still, there is shit. I could retrace the whole history of the shitting issue, but... it's cat shit. It's really not that interesting.

(Annoying, yes. Interesting, not so much.)

Today I finished the full read-through and outline of chapter 4. This concludes the outlining of the dissertation, and begins the "start writing again, bitch" section of the semester. Hopes are high: let's all pay attention to the little word meter for chapter 1, and see if it moves from 61% by the end of the week.

Finally, we all know that I'm not really happy unless I'm planning a trip. Obviously, financial issues have resulted in several cancelled plans (first Ireland, last summer; then Rome, this winter) which means I have not left the country in over 18 months. The solution: plan a trip for next summer, and plan it in a "finances be damned" way.*

The current plan is to start in Hungary and loop around, moving to the south... Slovenia, Croatia, Albania, Macedonia, Bulgaria, and back up into Romania. We are in the process of trying to narrow things down, but it's difficult. However, six countries in five weeks sounds intimidating, and possibly *not* very vacation-like, especially considering the slower travel in some of the countries (apparently Croatia, Macedonia, and Albania have useful internal train systems, but they don't quite link up yet) so narrow we must.

I'm honestly most interested in Bulgaria, and I'm having a hard time giving up any of the town options, there. Medieval monasteries! Ancient ruins! Lots of beer, wine, and good food! Yes, yes, give me all of it.

*Yes, this means saving as much as possible and putting the rest on a credit card. I know, I know, it's evil. However, I've about had enough of planning for trips only to cancel them.

I added the little chapter meters on the side, and I'm not sure how I feel about them. I know that it used to be three chapters over half done - remember, two and three were formerly the same chapter - but now it looks further away from being finished.

Sort of.

We'll see how today goes, work-wise.

This is the first full week of classes, and I'm interested to see how things flesh out. I'm not exactly nervous about class today, but I'm... jittery? I've changed things around yet again, and I'm curious whether it will make class easier or more difficult. I judged last semester's class as generally better for the changes I made there, which made me more excited about switching up things in this class. However, I might have given myself far more work than in the previous version of the course, if things don't go well.

*looks around nervously*

doing away with baby blue text?

Yesterday: not productive. I went into the office and found it was already occupied by another adjunct. I suppose I could have stayed - there are two desks, after all - but the mood in the room wasn't great.

Today: more productive. I outlined ch. 3 and, again, noted several problems that are quite easy to fix. I do apparently have all four chapters in some form or another -- ch. 3 got mushed into ch. 2 and while both of them need serious expanding/revision, the guts of both are already there.

Must keep up the "little bit of work every day." Even though it doesn't take long to go through and read these chapters, it has helped immensely.