Letters, part one.

In the spirit of Rate Your Students, here are some of my end-of-term letters:

• A: I am sad that you cannot find enough sources for your research paper. I am also surprised, as you chose one of the easiest - and hottest - topics in the field. I should remind you, though, that this paper was due yesterday, and that this is already your second chance to complete the assignment. Remember earlier in the semester, when you didn't finish the research paper, and didn't show up for seminar to present your findings?
  
• M: When I told you the first time that your thesis didn't make sense for this class, what did you do? Did you really decide that I was completely wrong, and that you would research the topic anyway? It seems so. Unfortunately, topics completely unrelated to my course don't result in good grades... they also make me think you're recycling a paper from a previous course.
• B: You have come late to every class session that you've deigned to attend, this semester. You've turned in maybe half the required work, and been generally annoying and whiny. When you fail this course, could you please not retake it with me this summer? Thank you.
• L: You've been a fantastic student. You have, in fact, been a very bright spot in my generally dark and dank semester. Until yesterday, you had only missed one class, and even that was pre-arranged with me. So why (oh why?) did you randomly skip the one day that I had mentally set aside for evaluations?