Screaming Squirrels

trip planning

2008-08-08T11:38:00.004-05:00

I'm getting closer to booking tickets for a trip next May (yes, 9 months in advance*) and I'm having trouble making some key decisions. They are not all mine to make, but even the conversations with Mr. Squirrel are more confusing than not.

We have the following options for places to fly into:
Munich
Budapest
Vienna

And the following options to fly out of:
Sofia
Bucharest

I just found a flight that goes: ("our little city" - JFK - Amsterdam - Munich) then (Bucharest - Rome - JFK - our little city) for $850 rt. Seriously. What this does is throw a city I'm dying to go to back into the mix: Ljubljana. We would end up spending two nights in Munich, two in Ljubljana, and then taking the train into Croatia as planned... this seems to work out better than flying into Budapest (as originally planned) and then taking the overnight train to Zagreb.

Unfortunately, the flight I was counting on from Split (Croatia) to Sofia seems to no longer exist. This is bad in some ways and good in others: we were going to have to drive back from Kotor (Montenegro) to Split for that flight... a good 4 or 5 hours, I think. Now, we'll probably fly Dubrovnik - Vienna - Sofia, thanks to low-cost European airlines.

*Note that the reason I'm planning all this so far in advance is two-fold. First, if we buy the plane tickets NOW, there's less chance of not having money later. Our Rome trip was canceled for lack of funds, and I'd rather not have that happen again. Second, it's a long trip and I need the planning time to make it all work in my OCD-tainted head.

serious randomness

2008-07-28T17:12:00.004-05:00

aka: why is all this stuff in my head?

While googling for images of a certain historical event, I accidentally ended up on one of those websites specializing in really horrific photos. This wasn't entirely surprising, as said historical event qualifies as "horrific," but the brief seconds of seeing some of the other images on the site might have fucked me up today. It's reminiscent of when I ran across some Daniel Pearl clips without realizing what I was about to see. Sigh.
I have an office. An actual office. It has a window, a mini-fridge, and even a plant and a comfy chair. Color me slightly stunned.
My teaching is getting better in many ways. My writing is getting worse. There's an article in the Atlantic ("Is Google Making Us Stupid?") that pretty much summarizes everything I fear.
When I finish teaching for the day, I will often sit and accomplish nothing. at. all. Today I managed to write up a plan for class tomorrow, and that's about it.
I just got a perfume called "Irrelevant and Disturbing Surreal Crawdad Dream." I think I like it. I know I like the bottle far too much to ever get rid of it.
On Saturday I made my own bbq sauce. It turned out really well, but I'm still wondering why all of the recipes I looked at involved ketchup. Ketchup? If I'm making my own sauce, I really can start with tomato paste... or tomatoes... must research this further. I'm sure there are good recipes that I just didn't see, or that I can simply use a recipe for ketchup.
My cat had bladder surgery last week, to remove four stones. She has several stones in her kidneys as well, but they'd have to do a much more complicated surgery to get those. The only place that does laser surgery wouldn't call us back, so we had to go with the "real" surgery. Poor kitteh. She's doing fine, though.
I'm supposedly getting Mirena next month. My only lingering questions have to do with timing: it's scheduled for the beginning of my vacation week, and... well, I just don't think many days of heavy cramping is conducive to the type of vacation week I'd like. If I put it off, I'm putting it off for at least six months, because my own GYN won't do it.

2008-03-05T09:30:00.002-05:00

Final interview today... think good thoughts for me.

Update: quick interview, job offer made. Woot!

Keep your fingers crossed.

2008-02-26T16:49:00.000-05:00

I might have a job.

More info. forthcoming.

2008-02-19T10:14:00.003-05:00

Seen at Canada's.

60 Things You Possibly Didn't Know About Me

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?
An ice scraper and some paperwork.

2. When was the last time you threw up?
the morning of Nov. 1, 2005.

3. What's your favorite curse word?
some variation of "fuck."

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today?
Uh, it's too early for that.

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
sleeping.

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Oddly, downloading The Canterbury Tales on audiobook.

7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now?
Either editing the dissertation or cooking dinner.

8. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Yes.

9. What is the last thing you said aloud?
"Shit."

10. What is the best ice cream flavor?
I don't generally eat ice cream, but there's some caramel-chocolate swirl that I like in HD.

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
coffee

12. What are you wearing right now?
White long underwear, white t-shirt, black fleece jacket and black sweats. Oh, and pink slippers.

13. What was the last thing you ate?
Several pieces of sharp cheddar cheese.

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
This week? Try "this year." No.

15. When was the last time you ran?
I have no idea.

16. What's the last sporting event you watched?
There was golf on this weekend. I have no idea what tournament.

18. Who is the last person you emailed?
Another student.

19. Ever go camping?
Twice last summer, for the first time.

20. Do you have a tan?
Heh.

24. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
Nope. Don't drink soda.

25. What did your last IM say?
Don't IM either.

26. Are you someone's best friend?
Yes.

27. What are you doing tomorrow?
Teaching a couple classes, and then celebrating because I have the rest of the week off? Oh, and writing a job application letter.

28. Where is your mom right now?
In bed, asleep.

29. Look to your left, what do you see?
An ottoman with a pile of clean clothes, an oval mirror, and a green wall.

30. What color is your watch?
Silver with a pale purple face.

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia ?
Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary.

32. Would you consider plastic surgery?
Not for cosmetic reasons.

33. What is your birthstone?
Peridot.

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
Uh, no.

35.How many kids do you want?
Zero is fine.

36. Do you have a dog?
Nope.

37. Last person you talked to on the phone?
My mother.

38. Have you met anyone famous?
Peter Coyote? Is he still famous?

39. Any plans today?
Finish editing ch. 1, make dinner, meet with dissertation advisor, have beer. Oh, is it Ghost Hunters night? Then that, too.

40. How many states have you lived in?
Five (and one province).

41. Ever go to college?
I laugh. And laugh more.

42. Where are you right now?
In my office, at home.

43. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
My apparent inability to keep things tidy.

44. Last song listened to?
Short version: I'm not sure.
Long version: One of our friends has been making these monthly mixed CD's with all kinds of stuff, and I've been listening to those in the car without paying attention to *who* is singing.

46. Are you allergic to anything?
Chocolate, cats, and lots of other things.

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
Really old Dr. Martens.

48. Are you jealous of anyone?
Right now? Not so much.

50. Is anyone jealous of you?
I have no idea.

51. What time is it?
10:31 am

52. Do any of your friends have children?
Yep.

53. Do you eat healthy?
Yes.

54. What do you usually do during the day?
Too much Internet, not enough dissertation editing.
Most days I teach, have office hours, cook (I'm on a worse-than usual obsession with cooking right now) and watch some TV.

55. Do you hate anyone right now?
Nope. I'm somewhat annoyed with several people, though.

56. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
I tend to use "hi" more than "hello."

58. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
38.

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Nope.

60. How did you get one of your scars?
There is a small scar on my right wrist -- the size of about 1/2 a penny. I was on a swing set, and was doing the usual "swing high, jump off" thing. Apparently this particular set wasn't well-built, and as I jumped off, the skin of my wrist got caught in one of the chain links. Ripped a huge chunk of skin right out of my wrist. I was about 8, I think.

Hello, February!

2008-02-02T12:31:00.000-05:00

I am trying to be far more positive, this month.

I used another horrible (and much, much louder) comment from asshole student - yes, I need a better name - as a teaching moment in class, and it worked. I'm not sure if it worked for asshole student, but it worked for me and a large portion of the class.
Yesterday I officially passed the 12-pound mark of weight loss. In my book "more than 10 pounds" is a major moment.
Although I haven't updated the word meter yet, I have revised & expanded at least half of chapter one. None of it is actually typed yet - the longhand is proving fruitful - but that's my weekend goal.

Summing up January

2008-01-31T12:35:00.000-05:00

I've been going back and forth about posting this all day. I think I'm just a bit down, in general, and I'm not sure if posting about it is worthwhile. I guess I'm posting it with that caveat: this post sucks.

Possibly the most disappointing thing about this month was the lack of interviews. I applied for very few positions this year - four total, I think - but two of them were spot-on. One was a two-year (and they've hired ABD's way further out from completion in the past) and one was only a year and definitely takes ABD's every year they do this. So it's not the lack of dissertation, in this case.

With the one-year, I know my advisor dropped the ball again -- she didn't even try to get my letter in on time, and it ended up there two weeks after the deadline. I did contact the chair of the committee directly to explain that my advisor was out of town, etc., and she seemed understanding... but the end of January has come, and no interview.

How many people in the area could have possibly applied for this? It's a one-year, it's in the middle of nowhere, and I just don't understand.

I should be happy with my renewed interest in the dissertation, although I'm not really feeling it today (uh, the interest, that is. Or the happiness, actually). I'm feeling very positive that I can complete it, although I have worries about the rest of the process.

In fact, I suppose I'm just worried. With no job on the horizon for next fall, things could get difficult. I have some adjunct work already lined up, but two classes won't cover bills. I know that it will work out, somehow, but I feel down about just about everything academic.

On the personal/family side of things, January was fine. Ups and downs, obviously, but overall an okay month. Probably would have been better without the three weeks of illness.

I should have known.

2008-01-30T17:18:00.000-05:00

When a student adds a class late, finds out it's a seminar (surprise! It's listed as such!) and then comments "oh, good... I like to talk..."

Run, people. I should have. Actually, I should have grabbed the add slip, torn it into tiny pieces, and sprinted to my car.

Yes, indeed, you like to talk. Unfortunately, derogatory comments about gay and bisexual lifestyles do NOT count as "critical thought" about the article. No. No they don't. Also, interrupting discussion with "that's just wrong!" is not going to earn you participation points.

*le sigh* I have a feeling Friday is going to be "we need to talk after class" day.

On edit: Only half a page written today, and it's not even typed. Sometimes I prefer writing (really writing -- longhand) to typing, so it's not necessarily a bad thing... in fact, my entire MA thesis was written out on yellow legal pads.

2008-01-30T09:08:00.000-05:00

One of my goals for today is a return to the exercise bike. This was supposed to happen about 20 minutes ago, but the batteries (which control the tension settings) are dead. Since I'm obviously not going out into the suddenly-20-degree weather until absolutely necessary, the bike will have to wait until this afternoon.
I got on the scale for the first time in awhile, assuming that I would have gained back most of the weight I lost at the end of last year. Oddly enough, I haven't: I'm at the same weight I was at before the conference in November (and before a holiday season of much drinking). I think the lesson, here, is that maintaining my weight isn't going to be a major issue -- once I lose it, it stays off.
I'm still worried about my class, despite seeing interested looks on most faces and having already had some good feedback about the structure. I know that nervousness is normal during the first week of a class, but I'm having to resort to a "one day at a time" type of mantra. In this, I constantly assure myself that I can end class early and the world will not screech to a halt; that - if necessary - I have plenty of discussion starters; that I can always have them free-write if things go totally south. None of this is stopping the dread that creeps up before I have to leave for class...

Nifty!

2008-01-29T16:45:00.000-05:00

Thanks to the crazy itineraries at RyanAir, it looks like we can fly into south-coastal Croatia and out of Budapest. I've been saying that Ljubljana, while obviously cool and interesting, would better be added on to a trip involving Venice, Trieste, Graz, and Vienna... if we can skip Ljubljana for now, we can have far more time in Albania and Bulgaria.

So I'm thinking that we book a flight into London and out of Frankfurt (two of the cheaper options, from the U.S.) and then super-cheap RyanAir tickets to Zadar from London and out of Budapest to Frankfurt. By super-cheap, by the way, I mean US$14 one way.

On edit: yes, I wrote two pages today. I should feel good about that, but I really don't.

2008-01-28T22:55:00.001-05:00

One of our cats is shitting outside the litter box. The boxes are spotlessly clean - thanks to this contraption, which makes the cleaning much easier - yet still, there is shit. I could retrace the whole history of the shitting issue, but... it's cat shit. It's really not that interesting.

(Annoying, yes. Interesting, not so much.)

Today I finished the full read-through and outline of chapter 4. This concludes the outlining of the dissertation, and begins the "start writing again, bitch" section of the semester. Hopes are high: let's all pay attention to the little word meter for chapter 1, and see if it moves from 61% by the end of the week.

Finally, we all know that I'm not really happy unless I'm planning a trip. Obviously, financial issues have resulted in several cancelled plans (first Ireland, last summer; then Rome, this winter) which means I have not left the country in over 18 months. The solution: plan a trip for next summer, and plan it in a "finances be damned" way.*

The current plan is to start in Hungary and loop around, moving to the south... Slovenia, Croatia, Albania, Macedonia, Bulgaria, and back up into Romania. We are in the process of trying to narrow things down, but it's difficult. However, six countries in five weeks sounds intimidating, and possibly *not* very vacation-like, especially considering the slower travel in some of the countries (apparently Croatia, Macedonia, and Albania have useful internal train systems, but they don't quite link up yet) so narrow we must.

I'm honestly most interested in Bulgaria, and I'm having a hard time giving up any of the town options, there. Medieval monasteries! Ancient ruins! Lots of beer, wine, and good food! Yes, yes, give me all of it.

*Yes, this means saving as much as possible and putting the rest on a credit card. I know, I know, it's evil. However, I've about had enough of planning for trips only to cancel them.

2008-01-28T10:55:00.001-05:00

I added the little chapter meters on the side, and I'm not sure how I feel about them. I know that it used to be three chapters over half done - remember, two and three were formerly the same chapter - but now it looks further away from being finished.

Sort of.

We'll see how today goes, work-wise.

This is the first full week of classes, and I'm interested to see how things flesh out. I'm not exactly nervous about class today, but I'm... jittery? I've changed things around yet again, and I'm curious whether it will make class easier or more difficult. I judged last semester's class as generally better for the changes I made there, which made me more excited about switching up things in this class. However, I might have given myself far more work than in the previous version of the course, if things don't go well.

*looks around nervously*

doing away with baby blue text?

2008-01-27T13:25:00.000-05:00

Yesterday: not productive. I went into the office and found it was already occupied by another adjunct. I suppose I could have stayed - there are two desks, after all - but the mood in the room wasn't great.

Today: more productive. I outlined ch. 3 and, again, noted several problems that are quite easy to fix. I do apparently have all four chapters in some form or another -- ch. 3 got mushed into ch. 2 and while both of them need serious expanding/revision, the guts of both are already there.

Must keep up the "little bit of work every day." Even though it doesn't take long to go through and read these chapters, it has helped immensely.

Saturday?

2008-01-26T12:44:00.000-05:00

I'm about to head into the office. I managed to accomplish my reading/note-taking goal yesterday, and if I finish ch. 3 today I'll be almost done. Yesterday I realized that one major issue is the order of the chapters -- actually, I knew that already, but I figured out how to fix it quite easily.

I think I might take a plant. (Uh, that's not supposed to be a metaphor.)

In-between Land

2008-01-25T10:15:00.000-05:00

How exactly did I get here?

Being ABD for this long - three years, now - seems to being having consequences in other areas of my life.

I am Liminal Chick.

Some of it is obviously direct: I adjunct because I have no final degree (and because moving around for one-year contracts, as some of my friends do, is less possible when you have a partner who also needs to work). My "office space" is shared with five other people, all adjuncts, and it's not the most welcoming space.

Because we're not settled as to place - because we adjunct, because we're both ABD - we have a nice but temporary apartment. Don't get me wrong: I feel incredibly lucky that we have the place we have, but I would eventually like a house. With a yard. And a garden.

And, of course, there's the lack of savings. I have some money put aside right now, but it's all earmarked for this semester... my lighter schedule = lighter paychecks.

One thing is unrelated to the ABD status, but got me thinking about in-between states: I'm squarely between a size 10 and 12 right now. 10 is slightly too small, 12 is slightly too big. This means 12's with belts -- not the most flattering fashion look. I have one pair of pants that apparently defies conventional sizing (10's that fit perfectly) and they look fantastic on me. However, the zipper de-tracked the other day and I can't seem to fix it.

In baby blue text news, my goal for the day is to read and outline chapter two.
I am unsure whether I should be making changes as I see necessary, or whether I should really concentrate on outlining (and thus, reading) the entire thing in a short span of time. I think that the full read-through is the most important, right now.

Yes, I'm still sick.

2008-01-24T14:20:00.000-05:00

Don't you love starting the new semester with a hacking cough? I'm put in mind of my smoking days.

I worked on my dissertation today.

I say that in unreadable baby blue letters because I don't want to jinx it, and for some reason the smaller letters I wanted to use won't work, and this still makes me feel better.

When I worked on it yesterday, I realized that I'm a bit lost... I've never used outlines and - with as long as this project has been going on - I've lost track of some things. Today, my goal was to reread chapter one and outline it in some detail.

The goal for the next several days is to do this to the other chapters. I will (hopefully) then be reacquainted with the ~100 pages I have already written, and able to finish the last chapter. Soon.

On edit: I seem to have broken my font sizes.

Hmmm

2008-01-22T10:47:00.000-05:00

This is supposed to be the "class" meme. I have huge issues with it, but obviously I'm doing it anyway.

1. Father went to college
2. Father finished college
3. Mother went to college
4. Mother finished college Well, it wasn't in the states, but I suppose it was the equivalent of an AA.
5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor
6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers. This I'm supposed to know?
7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home.
8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home.
9. Were read children's books by a parent
10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18
11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed
13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18 That was a bad idea.
14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs Undergrad, yes, but I also went to a state school...
15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs
16. Went to a private high school
17. Went to summer camp
18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18
19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels
20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18
21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them
22. There was original art in your house when you were a child
23. You and your family lived in a single-family house Most of the time...
24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home
25. You had your own room as a child Part of the time...
27. Participated in a SAT/ACT prep course
28. Had your own TV in your room in high school
29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in high school or college
30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16
31. Went on a cruise with your family
32. Went on more than one cruise with your family
33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up
34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family I'm not clear on this one. I was aware heating was expensive and that my dad had fixed the thermostat so that it didn't go above 65... does that count?

So, gentle reader, what "class" do I get?
My parents are both college-educated, but they were the first generation in their respective families to go to college. When I was born - I'm the youngest of three - my father had finally finished his PhD, and had secured a TT job. Obviously that drastically changed the income level in our family.

Still, through all of grade school and junior high I was wearing mostly hand-me-downs and we certainly didn't have extra spending money. I assume that most of their income went to buying the house, as that was important to my parents.

Also, we traveled because my mother's family is quite spread-out. She didn't visit home for almost 15 years after moving to the U.S., and I was lucky enough to be the one who "couldn't be left home" when she finally did go.

So: I had books, and I traveled (although we certainly didn't stay in hotels). No TV in my room, no cruises - cruises are the mark of something? - no new car, and I started working when I was 15.

Uh, if this is really a meme about "class," wouldn't the age you got your first job be somewhat more relevant than "original art" in your house?

2008-01-17T22:07:00.000-05:00

Haven't blogged for quite awhile. Started a post yesterday, but tossed it for all kinds of reasons.

I've been rather sick the last week. Yes, it happens. Today is annoying me, however: I've been feeling better, yet hearing from multiple fronts that I "seem worse." For someone with anxiety disorder that's practically guaranteeing a stellar freak out, and I'm trying to stop that from happening.

The issue? I have a cough. No temperature, no sore throat, no headache. Not coughing up anything with odd colors or tastes (sorry to be graphic, but I've had pneumonia and bronchitis enough to know what to... look... for). For about two days it was a bad chest-type cough, but in the last two days it has eased up.

I think I need another couple days of rest, and many hot showers. My husband seems to think I should have gone to the doctor already -- this from a guy who hasn't been to a doctor in five years.

I can take nice, deep breaths without feeling the slightest need to cough. My sinuses are (now) completely clear, although I'm guessing that's where this started.

Am I not allowed to have a normal illness without it being doctor-worthy?

Please?

This? is that day.

2007-11-15T14:49:00.000-05:00

Yes, this is that day. It's the day, every year, when I realize that I leave for Big Damn Conference in less than 24 hours, and that I am nowhere close to prepared for anything.

I have not packed.
I have not tried on half my "conference" clothes to see if they fit.
I have not timed my paper to see exactly how long it is.
I have not finished the stack of grading on my desk.
I have not had a haircut in six months.

At the same time, because of the timing of this conference, there is an immense sense of freedom. After all, I have over a week off... no classes, very few commitments, and a lot of pumpkin pie and good wine on the way.

Still, you would think I'd go into Big Damn Conference pre-day a little more organized, wouldn't you? So that, when I stumble out of bed at 4:30am tomorrow to be on time for our 6am flight, I'm not frantically OCD'ing over everything?

As a matter of fact, today started out worse than most BDCpd's. For the first time in years, I forgot to set my alarm. It was only a sheer lack of balance on the part of my cat that woke me up in time to make it to class, and that's NOT the way to start a day... no, sharp and grabbing claws in your face are generally a bad thing.

Now, I sit at my desk knowing full well that I need to get off my ass and pack, or go buy stockings, or do something useful. Yet, I seem to have hit the very same wall that I do when I know I have 40 papers to grade: big, brick, possibly with razor wire at the top.

Kittehs love BPAL

2007-11-03T10:16:00.001-05:00

(Or at least this particular kind.)

2007-10-21T16:29:00.000-05:00

I have a new class, starting tomorrow.

Through some very odd circumstances, I was asked to take over a class mid-semester. I'm generally happy about this - in fact, the chair of the department is amazingly nice, which makes things easier - but I have lingering first-day-of-class fears.

The syllabus is already in place, and I'm fine with it; any readings I haven't done are merely other versions of things I have read. In fact, these readings will really help me revamp one of my own syllabi for next semester -- bonus points!

No, it's really the idea of walking into a classroom where bonds are already established between students, and I'm more the interloper than usual, as professor. And it's not even freaking me out that much, just enough that it's obviously on my mind. In some ways the situation is quite liberating: if it weren't for me taking over, the class likely would have been cancelled, so I really can run crazy with it.

(Some semesters I don't get sick.)

2007-10-18T11:16:00.001-05:00

Some semesters I seem to be constantly fighting off illness, and I occasionally succumb to it. On those days, whether or not I make it to class has a lot to do with how far I have to drive... if my class is down the street, I'll (usually) drag my ass in anyway. If it's an hour drive each way, I'm far more likely to cancel.

I really don't like driving long distances when I'm ill.

I assume that part of the reason full-timers seem to rarely cancel class is that they generally live closer to their campuses? Or does everyone occasionally cancel class due to illness, and I'm just not aware of it?

2007-10-15T14:44:00.000-05:00

I turned in a rough draft of chapter three, today. I think it sucks, mostly.

One chapter left to rough out, and then I'm left with the joyful task of revising the whole thing.

I'm not as pissy about this as this post is sounding. I actually wasn't expecting to turn in a draft today, and I think that getting it in is generally good.

However, the last time I submitted a rough I got comments back like "this transition is horrible"... Hello? What does rough draft mean to you? If all my points were clear and my transitions were good, I would call that a finished version.

Le sigh.

Still, this means I can hammer away at this chapter for another two weeks and then move on. Chapter Four is actually supposed to be the easiest (!) and shouldn't take very long. I'll have a complete draft before any interviews take place this year, and should be set to defend in March.

Um... I haven't accomplished stuff for my classes, though. And I'm seriously considering having a beer or two, despite it being a weekday.

Oh dear.

2007-10-10T22:04:00.000-05:00

You know when you have those evenings with friends where you all drink too much, and lots of stuff is shared, and it brings you closer?

K. I had that night tonight, except that:

a) it wasn't with my friends
b) I think I was the only one not tipsy (and how often does that happen?)
c) I didn't share, nor was I tempted
d) I don't feel closer to anyone. I more felt a need to bathe when I got home.

Seriously, it was sort of weird. I'm sitting here with my cat, who has been very cuddly tonight for no apparent reason other than that I need a cuddly cat. Er, and she usually refuses to be all cute and fluffy on demand. As is fitting for a cat.

I also failed the "no beer" thing today, although I only had one out at dinner. Am thinking several more were probably in order.

Oh, also? Sent my paper away yesterday, and have not heard back from the other panel members... even in a "we got it" way. Usually emails are responded to immediately. Now I'm wondering if someone read it and said "hey, WTF is she talking about? This sucks! Can we get her off the panel this late?" I hate insecurity.

2007-10-08T22:46:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is a goal day.

~~teach classes~~
~~finish paper~~
~~send off paper~~
~~drink no beer~~

Seriously, that's it. Feel free to mock the simplistic nature of my goals... I welcome mockery.

ETA: ~~I have not had a beer. However, the day is not yet over, so I'll wait to cross that one out.~~ But LOOK! at the crossing out! of the paper! I'm really pleased, even though I know it needs a bit more editing before the conference. For me, "needs a bit more editing" is where I'm usually at when I stand up to present the damn thing. Whee!!!

Damn the working draft...

2007-10-08T12:17:00.000-05:00

I do not do drafts well.

As of Thursday I was happy with what I had done on the conference paper. And it's true: I have a great draft, here.

The problem is, I suck at adding onto drafts. I currently have four versions of the paper, and I should be working on assembling those. However, I have no patience with going through each of them to figure out what's not already common to the final draft.

This is why I should never pay attention to people who criticize my writing style. I work by writing straight through, and stopping when I hit a problem area. Everyone says "no, no, just move on to some other part" but FUCK THAT. Seriously, that's how other people work. Why do other people constantly assume that they do things "right"? Skipping ahead may work for some people, but all it does for me is create a lot of stress later.

BTW, this isn't directed at anyone in particular... it's (honestly) the advice I seem to get from everyone about writing.

I'm just really sick of people, right now.

Oh, also, the in-laws just left. That might explain part of my mood.

ETA: I also might need a backbone. It's one thing to give a different style of writing a shot (that's just being open, right?) but when it consistently doesn't work, it's probably best to stop doing it, instead of continuing to bitch about how it doesn't work.

2007-10-04T04:55:00.000-05:00

Am unhappy with our cat. It's not quite 6am, and I have been up for 1/2 hour already. This was not intentional -- I was already prepared for class, and didn't need extra work time this morning. What I needed was six hours of sleep, not five. Well, really, I need eight, but that's not going to happen very often during the week.

Our cat decided that I really needed to be awake. She's done this before, and I just don't know where she learned the habit: she pokes at me with one paw until I wake up. If I move or try to go back to sleep, she keeps doing it.

Of course, she won't do this to Mr. Squirrel while he's sleeping -- just to me.

Some mornings I just don't get it: I don't understand how anyone teaches early morning classes* or how some professors never miss class. If I didn't have to go in today for other reasons, I'd be really close to canceling. Five hours of not-very-good sleep is not enough for me to function.

Goals were accomplished, yesterday. I have a full draft of the paper, and could finish it entirely today if I can stay awake after class. I went over chapter three, and I seem to be missing some parts I thought were written. I assume they're somewhere, and I don't think they were very good in any case.

* This is not the first early morning class I've had, nor even the earliest. It is the furthest away I've had an early class, though, and that makes a difference.

2007-10-03T08:45:00.000-05:00

Goals for the day:

have working draft of conference paper done before leaving the office
review what I have written for ch. 3 of dissertation

I think I need a new word-count bar.

Oh, also: I slept like crazy last night. I succumbed to a 2-hour nap in the afternoon, and thought I'd messed up my schedule for sure... nope. Got about 7.5 hours last night, and feel almost human again. Considering that I'm well-prepped for class today and I'm allowing myself to wear jeans, I feel pretty good. All that's left to do is pick some appropriate BPAL.

6:22am

2007-10-02T05:23:00.000-05:00

Here's hoping for fewer early mornings, next semester. Try as I may, I cannot get to bed before midnight. As we're nearing midterms I'm tempted to schedule a reading day for my early-AM class...

My inbox this morning contained a confirmation for the tour under St. Peter's Basilica. I haven't had the heart to cancel any of our reservations yet, and I forgot that I'd written the Vatican about that one.

Selfish Sunday

2007-09-30T09:05:00.001-05:00

Three of my four classes are going really well. Or well enough that I'm not overly worried about them, I guess. The fourth one is a bit of a struggle, but it's a topic that should be easy for me to teach. I've been over-preparing for it, which is generally not a good thing. I was hoping that this particular college would keep me on next semester, which is where my Horrible Thursday comes into play...

(Very) long story short, I found out they're not keeping me. That news was depressing enough (oi! wherefore is the money for next semester???) but the way it was delivered triggered another one of those smack-in-the-forehead realizations that adjuncts are not human beings. I've been treated amazingly well at my "primary" adjuncting job, and I had started to think - despite all clues otherwise - that it was normal to be treated respectfully. Uh, no.

I should add, I'm sure the guy delivering the news didn't mean to be disrespectful... it just would never have occurred to him.

So, rather than working my ass off for these classes, they are going on the back burner while I churn out both my conference paper and chapter three.

Back in the real world, there was an attempted raid on the house next to us, last night. It was totally crazy: first came the helicopter, which started circling our block. Then - rapidly - came several police cars and a SWAT van. Men in bullet-proof vests with big guns started jumping out of the van and taking up position in front of our house.

It all lasted about 15 minutes. Just as we were both starting to get a little nervous - I think it set in that yes, there could be gunfire - everyone jumped back in the van and left. I swear, they cleared out in 30 seconds. We have some idea why this would happen: our neighbors appear to be hard-core drug dealers. There have been a couple incidents in the past that suggest they may be much worse than that, too. However, I think they might be gone, now.

With some trepidation, I post my to-do list.

2007-09-26T22:53:00.000-05:00

- grade 10 exams for Class A
- check papers for Class B
- reread texts for Class A and take a few swipes at lecture for tomorrow
- revise ch. 2: pg. 1
~~- read over notes for conference paper~~

I've settled in somewhat to my semester, but it's now (already!) the end of Week Five. Work-of-my-own has not yet materialized. Am still eying egg timers, but they seem too expensive.

Itty bitty steps, people.

ETA: I try to stay on campus between my classes and this weekly meeting we have, but with getting up so early (yes, 6am is early for me) I'm always exhausted by mid-afternoon. The last several weeks I've ended up falling asleep in my office. If I came home, I'd have (max) two hours before driving back, and the drive isn't short. This is why I stay.

This is also why I have my own work listed up there.

However, I have a hard time getting past the "tired as all hell" part to the "work" part.

ETA #2: Wow. Yesterday was sucky. I did manage to get quite a bit of work done on the conference paper (which overlaps with the dissertation, so that's doubly useful and sorta counts).
However, I had a rather disappointing meeting at school that sent me into a spiral of depression and outright sobbing last night. I finally have realized (again?) that revising ch. 2 is less important than writing chs. 3 & 4. Fuck revisions, at this point.

Aw, hell.

2007-09-17T16:17:00.000-05:00

Author Robert Jordan Dies

Damn my mailwhore.

2007-09-17T15:37:00.000-05:00

My mailwhore is taunting me.

There's a package that should be in my mailbox at this very moment, and it's not.

Usually, around 3pm, mailwhore drives his truck around our corner, stops in front of the house, and delivers mail up and down our block. Today, he drove around the corner three damn times in an hour, and didn't stop.

Finally, he drove around the corner and stopped, only to take out a snack.

AAaaaarrrGGGGhhhhhhhHHHHH.

I'll say it again...

2007-09-16T18:12:00.000-05:00

People who tell you that there are no withdrawals from pot? They are clinically insane.

No, I do not smoke pot. I imagine that if I did, I would have withdrawals if I had to discontinue it abruptly. And then I'd probably be an ass to people in my immediate vicinity.

Grrrr.

The painting story...

2007-09-16T09:00:00.000-05:00

When I was in undergrad, I attended a variety of schools. By the time I got serious about my education, my parents were no longer willing to foot the entire bill, and so I worked part- to full- time in my junior and senior years.

Where I lived, jobs paid the bare minimum wage. Housing was cheap, but $4.25/hour is still painful.

One day, I decided to look into the 'modeling for art classes' thing. There were many reasons: First, it was rumored to pay $10/hour. Second, posing for 10 hours/week sounded better than the equivalent 20 hours of minimum-wage labor. Third, I had body image issues. That last was fairly important: I was, at the time, 5'7" and a size 2 -- any issues I had should have come from being too thin. And actually, I was trying to put on weight at the time, but I had been very sick not long before (see #104 on the list) and weight gain wasn't working.

I think I just had some non-focused body issues... I didn't like the way I looked, even though I had lots of positive feedback. That statement could probably be made by most college-age women, yes?

Anyway, the art classes at school already had models, but I was "picked up" by a local artist. At times I would pose for him, and at times for private classes he gave in the community. These were two very different experiences... I remember dragging my friend with me to the first class and having him wait in the car while I posed. It was harder than I thought: the class expected some kind of experience posing - which I didn't have - and the length of time you had to hold poses verged on impossible. Plus, it was freezing cold.

When I posed for the artist himself, it was always slightly creepy. I did, in fact, meet his wife, and she was always nearby (but not ever in the studio). He was never anything but professional, but I think the (valid!) worries trained into me were impossible to completely get over. The artist got fairly famous for a period of time, after one of his paintings (not one of me) was banned from an exhibit.

The paintings I saw were great. I found it fascinating that I could recognize my figure in paintings, even before they were finished -- I later posed for someone doing bronze work, and had the same reaction. ("Hey! Those are my thighs!")

I got back in touch with the artist a couple years ago, and he was going to send me .pdfs of the paintings (but didn't, and I didn't follow up on it). Now that I'm thinking about it, I may try contacting him again to get those -- I suppose if there are nudes of you out there as a 19 year old, you should have one!

2007-09-10T19:15:00.000-05:00

Seen at Canada's!!! (I forgot to add that bit, earlier!)

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea (by the way, I can't for the life of me figure out if this means "watched a storm while at sea" or "watched a storm that was out at sea." If the first, no. If the second, obviously yes.)
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg (but I think large glaciers should count.)
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen an eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 10 provinces or all 50 states (49/50, right now)
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow (goat, but not cow)
56. Alphabetized your cds
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Posed nude in front of strangers
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for 6 hours straight (uh, six hours is nothing.)
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie (so long as we're not talking professional.)
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake Dead River (wtf is the "snake dead river"? I've trained for crew on the Snake River).
82. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Had a one-night stand
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone (hmmm... questioning what counts, here.)
92. Buried one of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in aisles at Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Created and named your own constellation of stars
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge (halfway)
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an illness that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad
135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146: Dyed your hair
147: Been a DJ
148: Shaved your head
149: Caused a car accident
150: Saved someone's life

Is pictures for you.

2007-09-07T12:41:00.001-05:00

I finally went camping.

First, our campsite on the pond.
Second, our attempt at perc coffee and bacon. (The bacon was very good. The scrambled eggs? Not so much.)

So. Tired.

2007-09-06T18:04:00.000-05:00

I left the house at 7:30 this morning.
I got back at 6pm.

All this time was spent on campus, either teaching, prepping, or in a meeting. (Okay, except for the 20 min. that I fell asleep in my office before the meeting.)

Is tired. Bed nao? K thx.

In other news, my new car is at the dealership. As I may or may not have blogged about, there was a flooding incident with my car earlier this year and I'm uncomfortable keeping said car after the warranty runs out in November. The electrical system has already shown signs of damage, even though the car was drained almost immediately.

So, new car. Same payments (dear gosh, let it remain so), full warranty, more to pay off later. I'm far, far better with having an ongoing regular car payment than I am with the possibility of expensive repairs on my current budget. The car payment I can predict; the repairs I cannot.

ETA: I think I've officially passed "so tired" into "completely crazed." It's now 12:45 am and I'm still up. Must get up at 8 tomorrow, so I really should go to bed soon.

2007-09-04T15:27:00.000-05:00

I am talking to myself out loud. A lot.

Usually if I do this, there's a purpose. For example, I'll say (out loud): "don't forget to take the trash out," and it helps me to remember... at least, I pretend it does. When I get busy, however, my self-talk gets briefer and - I would guess - makes less sense to the outside listener.

Just now, I caught myself doing a mental checklist and saying "okay" after each item. If anyone was listening, I would sound completely insane.

Uh, luckily, I don't think anyone is eavesdropping on me. If I did, there would be other issues to discuss.

My gosh, there is hope.

2007-08-30T13:17:00.000-05:00

This morning I went into the seminar class at my new college, planning on discussion but well-prepared to lecture. Usually when I teach seminar at Small Private College, the students refuse to discuss... at all. Seriously, I've started to feel like a failure at teaching seminars (well, except for the fact that all my colleagues say the same thing about their seminars).

Today? I threw out the first question and they talked about it for 20 minutes. There was discussion. There were disagreements.

People, there was LIFE.

This continued, with occasional questions from me, for the full 75 minutes of class. At least 10 of the 12 students were fully participating. They left happy; I left happy. There was much rejoicing.

Class #2 was good, but possibly only for the majors. It's so tempting to take the conversation to that level, because I'm not used to having majors in my classes... I'm going to have to find a balance between teaching to them and teaching for the non-majors. The non-majors still seemed interested, but I think it went over their heads a couple times.

2007-08-29T14:01:00.000-05:00

Am trying to make decision:

Mr. Squirrel switched courses with me, solely to make my schedule easier.
After we switched, the course he took from me was cancelled.

Financially, we're both okay this semester. This course basically allows whoever has it to put some money in savings. (Yes, we're somewhat financially merged, but still mostly not, for various reasons. There really is no "our savings," yet.)

It seems logical that he gets the course back, doesn't it? I offered immediately when all this first happened, and brought it up again today -- the course is tomorrow. It's not a class either of us has to do much prep for, obviously.

Bullets O' Random Updates

2007-08-26T22:07:00.001-05:00

Yes, I was right that there's a reason my mentor is pushing me to finish.
"Chocolate Cherry" hair color? Rocks.
I feel sooooo much hotter when my hair is freshly colored. It's as though I'm some tough chick who could eat you for breakfast and then teach for 3 hours.
(Above is good, as I have 3 hours of teaching tomorrow morning.)
Update at BPAL tonight, people. Heads up.
Our annual department party went well. Convinced super-cool professor that he should be on my committee. Have been trying to do that for... more than 2 years?

2007-08-26T09:23:00.000-05:00

It all starts again tomorrow. I've spent the last week rethinking my syllabi, scanning articles, and generally staring at my closet wondering "what still fits?" Today I must go photocopy things and hope that I come up with a great idea for my one remaining syllabus issue.

I have a tiny golem statue that sits at the base of my monitor. He's supposed to be a writing good-luck charm (in my head alone, I mean. I've never heard people referring to the golem for that purpose, but come on). Yesterday, due solely to the massive humidity, golem kept coming unstuck and falling over. Now, while I obviously do blame it on the weather, there's something unsettling about golem trying to get OFF my computer all day.

Was he trying to run amok? Are my syllabi still in danger>

2007-08-19T10:09:00.000-05:00

I think that maybe, if I don't get a full-time job this time around, I may need to pursue other things for awhile. It's not the best time to draw that line - I'll probably be more marketable next year - but I've reached the point where I might need to get out.

I don't know what else I'm qualified to do, or if I really want to leave academia... and certainly I can't imagine pulling the normal 8 to 5 job. But there have to be options, right?

It's not the dissertation, because I fully plan to finish that, whether or not I stay. It's the lack of full-time jobs in the field: even contract positions are few and far between, and TT jobs seem nigh impossible. I don't think I can keep teaching 5 courses at 3 schools (for very little money, with no benefits) and stay sane.

Part of this train of thought is surely from coming off two summer courses and feeling I've had no break. Plus, it's not even going to hit 70 degrees today, and I'm just not ready for fall and winter yet... (please tell me that summer weather will return for awhile. Please?)

I don't doubt that I'll get everything prepared by next Monday - of course I will - but as I look at my half-finished syllabi, I want to cry. Or go back to bed and stay there.

Mr. Squirrel has brought up the notion of going full-on hermit this semester. In other words, both of us would do nothing but work (classes, but more importantly, dissertation) until things are just. finally. done. I'm tempted by that as well, although I don't think I can commit to a full three months of it... maybe one month at a time?

Then, if nothing came about on the job market this year, I could go find a full-time job elsewhere, knowing that I had, in fact, finished the degree (even if I don't "use" it). I think my degrees would be welcomed at some types of non-profit organizations, which is what I would be most interested in, anyway.

Is this just beginning-of-semester blues?

It's official...

2007-08-16T16:15:00.000-05:00

I'm now teaching at a school that I would not have been accepted to, out of high school. Uh, and if I had been accepted, I couldn't have paid for it.

Huh.

Also, why does my MIL keep sending me Christian Patriotic Crap*? When I told her to stop sending me this stuff, she apparently took it to mean just the virulently anti-Muslim emails that she was forwarding.

Sigh. Back to Snopes we go.

*ETA: By this, I mean those emails that end with "...so get the hell out of our country if you're not white/Christian/working-class/whatever. LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT!" They also usually include some (false) reference to "I heard Robin Williams/George Carlin say this last week" and this last one had a really badly-sung version of "The Star-Spangled Banner" embedded in it.

2007-08-15T14:06:00.000-05:00

Y'all? I need a makeover. Or, really: I need to pay attention to things like haircuts, which would - at this point - constitute a makeover.

So here's the deal, and you all can weigh in (or not) with opinions.

My hair has stayed mousey brown the last year, mostly because it makes my roots less visible when I go more than six weeks without coloring (read: all the time). It's also been probably... four months? since a cut, which isn't bad in Margie time. It's just long enough to comfortably pull back, right now; as you all probably know, this is invaluable on some teaching mornings.

I'm going to go get a trim -- not much off length, but with some messy shorter layers (not bangs, much longer than that) so that I can continue to use the ponytail when necessary. I'm going to color it dark brown, and add black "lowlights". I always want red highlights, but it's just so expensive!!

That *should* be maintainable for at least a semester, right? Like, with one or two trims & colors?

I'm comfortably (mostly) at a size 10/12 right now, although I'm still wanting to get that back to an 8/10. Moreso, I think I need to pay attention to looking decent *as* a 10/12, instead of waiting to drop 10 more pounds. Yes?

Thanks!

2007-08-14T08:46:00.000-05:00

Thanks for the comments and the birthday wishes!

I just can't stand seeing that much whining (on my part) stay up for more than 12 hours.

2007-08-11T09:21:00.000-05:00

I spent a good while yesterday assembling syllabi. I have about two weeks before the semester starts, and essentially three new classes to design:

Far-too-general-upper-level course: Have taught this several times, and always end up teaching it differently (because nothing works, or I get bored). This class shouldn't even be taught at colleges across the country/world - it's too general - but it always is.
Lower-level advanced course: This is a course I've taught as a senior seminar, but never as a 200-level. I worry that the students won't get it, as they haven't offered lower-level "basic" course at the college. I've worked some fixes to that into the syllabus - that one's almost done! - but I'm still a bit worried.
Lower-level odd course: This is (honestly) the course that every student wants to take. I taught it three years ago at Large Private School and it had a waiting list as long as the enrollment. Haven't taught it since then, and now it's filled immediately at Wee Private College. I've tried to revamp it somewhat, but since I never got a chance to work out the quirks the first time around, I'm not sure how much should change. Have updated some of the readings and left it at that, for now.

Other than that, I've managed to not grade final papers for the summer course yet, and I spent some birthday money (hooray Mum!) at Loft yesterday. Despite what anyone says about Loft, I haven't found anywhere else that makes reasonably-priced basic pants for women with hips. And it doesn't matter if I'm a size 6 or a size 12 -- my hips are always the pants-deal-breaker.

It's also Loft's big sale, so I got a lot of really basic stuff for not very much money. Oh, and it's "savings card" time, which means that they give you cards for the fall collection that amount to 50% off whatever you buy later. I usually load up on end-of-summer stuff (mostly to use for Spring teaching*) and then use the 50% off to buy something really nice before Big Damn Conference.

*Yes, I know that pant styles change between summer and the next spring, but I can't afford to be that stylish. As long as it's a basic cut and it fits, I'm good with it.

Day The Last

2007-08-08T09:30:00.001-05:00

Usually I'd end this with a very cute picture of the two of us. Instead, a you get a photo of the (very small!) castle we stayed in to end the trip.

So, here ends the picture-a-day, a year later. Overall, it was a good trip, and going through the photos has been fun (and useful, as I'm trying to do an album).

Tonight I give a final; yesterday I started pasting together syllabi for next semester.

This morning I got an email from my advisor that made me stop and say "you're kidding me, right?" before deciding to ignore it completely.

Day Twenty-Eight: near Regensburg

2007-08-07T21:16:00.000-05:00

Oh, crap.

2007-08-07T12:44:00.000-05:00

One of Mr. Squirrel's classes was just canceled for low enrollment, and another is under the gun. (They don't put faculty names with classes, so this isn't a matter of reflecting poorly on him, just enrollment.)

What this likely means is... no Italy. If just the one is canceled, it's probably still okay. If it's two? No way.

I am sad. I will hope this works out, but I am sad.

ETA: After some thought, I came to the conclusion that we could still do 8 nights somewhere (instead of 17)... and further, that since we were already spending 7 nights in Rome that we might as well just go to Rome.

Must now check the logistics of a (rather long?) day trip to Pompeii, and whether it's worth the time or not.

Is over now.

2007-08-06T22:38:00.001-05:00

There's still an exam to give and far too much grading to do, but Summer 2 is officially over, class-wise.

Thank my good stars.

I may just go order a t-shirt to celebrate. A Little Lunacy, anyone?

In follow-up photo blogging news... the rearranged apartment:
This is taken from the kitchen -- that messy bit in front is the bottom of the pass-through window, and under it is the smallish dining table. Room with cat (that's Little Guy) is the living room, and the far room is the bedroom (which now has it's own sofa/sitting area):

And finally, the other half of the "master" bedroom, in which you can see the new nightstand my brother so kindly made for me. Yes, there's a matching one coming, but handmade furniture takes awhile.

There ya go... the living space of Margie. Other than that, there's a kitchen (quite good), two dens (very messy), and a spare bedroom (aka where laundry goes to die).

2007-08-06T10:53:00.000-05:00

I am behind on grading. Summer grading is even worse than normal-semester grading, isn't it? Oddly, I'm probably not as behind as I think I am - I did quite a bit before the weekend - but I can't even bring myself to sort through the graded vs. ungraded papers, today. So far, I've plopped the whole stack of them on my kitchen table and decided that yes, I will do something to them before I take a shower.

How about dividing the large stack into smaller stacks of graded/partially graded/ungraded? Ooh, and I could find my red pen, and get all the grade sheets organized, and staple some stuff together...

Day Twenty-Seven: Freiburg

2007-08-06T09:35:00.000-05:00

It's a different kind of canal system, it is:

These little streams (bächle) run through most of Freiburg.

achoo!!

2007-08-05T20:06:00.000-05:00

Oh. My. Goodness.

We rearranged the flat today, and apparently we've gone too long without dusting under things. I have been sneezing (or wanting to sneeze) for three hours, now, and it's getting beyond annoying.

On the positive side of things, the flat looks much better and it will be easier to have people over for dinner with the new arrangement.

I just need to stop sneezing, soon.

Day Twenty-Six: Heidelberg

2007-08-05T12:23:00.001-05:00

Looking up at:

Looking down from:Getting up to the castle is... tiring. My advice: take the stairs. Even though they look very difficult, they are far, far better than the non-stair route.

Day Twenty-Five: Bamberg

2007-08-04T12:14:00.001-05:00

Day Twenty-Four: Prague to Bamberg

2007-08-03T15:08:00.001-05:00

Squeak!

2007-08-03T10:05:00.000-05:00

Okay, after much searching and pulling-of-hair, and advice from Artistic Soul, I have reserved a room here for our last five nights in Rome. The prices are good, the reviews on TripAdvisor are excellent, and it seems to be in a good location (and very close to the Metro).

I can't believe I'm going to Italy.

Day Twenty-Three: Prague

2007-08-02T15:21:00.000-05:00

2007-08-01T18:28:00.000-05:00

Anyone been to Rome?

Am trying to decide between one of these hostels or this B&B. In the hostels we'd have a private (en-suite) room, and that B&B is much cheaper than the price at TripAdvisor.

Oh, or this one.

I know nothing about where to stay in Rome. Nothing. Mostly I've heard people say "near the Spanish Steps is good," but... how near? Which way?

Day Twenty-Two: Prague

2007-08-01T09:45:00.000-05:00

Prague, by the way, had been #1 on my list of "places to go" for 15 years. One of my close friends ended up there when backpacking around Europe in 1991, and told fantastic stories about it.

Though it's obviously become more of a tourist destination since then and is quite crowded in summer, it's also very easy to get away from the crowds. Walk anywhere outside the "normal" tourist loop, and suddenly... peace and quiet.

Note that in the photo (which is taken at a monastery that brews some excellent beer) , I am wearing a jacket: the weather finally broke on this day, as well. For 21 days, we were running around in 100+ degree weather; from here on out, it will stay around 75-85.

Quick poll.

2007-07-31T12:24:00.001-05:00

If I've taken an extra class this Fall specifically so that I can put the money aside to travel in January, need I feel guilty for refusing to give up that trip if other expenses arise?

Why or why not?

Day Twenty-One: Prague

2007-07-31T09:57:00.000-05:00

No, you can't really miss the castle:

End of Summer?

2007-07-30T10:32:00.000-05:00

I can't believe summer is almost over. We have three class days left including tonight, and then I will have roughly two weeks off before Fall classes start. I'll be teaching five classes (four preps) at three different colleges.

Job listings for Fall 2008 started posting today. The run-up to Big Damn Conference is generally a mess of applications, stress, and more applications... and then waiting to hear if any interviews are forthcoming. I had hoped to have the dissertation completely finished - if not defended - when applications went out this year. It isn't, but it could be, still.

(Then why am I sitting here blogging instead of typing, eh?)

Later, same day: I did do some more work on the dissertation -- not much, but some. Some is better than none. I also did an hour on the exercise bike (yes, a whole hour!) and walked a mile with Mr. Squirrel. Now I trot off to class and get some more shit done while they watch a film.

Go me.

Day Twenty: Prague

2007-07-30T10:27:00.001-05:00

The famous (and infamously crowded) Charles Bridge.

Day Nineteen: Prague

2007-07-29T16:18:00.001-05:00

Here there be trumpeters.

Day Eighteen: Dresden

2007-07-28T10:21:00.000-05:00

By day:

By night:

2007-07-27T10:29:00.000-05:00

You know, sometimes I don't think Mr. Squirrel realizes how close I am to finishing the dissertation, and (therefore) how frustrating my (apparent?) phobia of working on it is.

He wanted me to try golfing today, and I said "no, I think I'll try to push through chapter one and send it off to [volunteer editor]."

He laughed in disbelief, and shook his head.

Oh, thanks! That attitude is sure to help. No fucking wonder I have issues about this thing.

ETA: okay, fixed several issues. Only spent about 1/2 hour working, so far, but it's FAR better than not touching the thing. I even wrote about a page.

Have picked the next "issue" and pulled it out into a separate document. That way, I don't have to freak out about what to work on next time: it's one page, with two things to expand on. That's a good idea, right?

Day Seventeen: Dresden

2007-07-27T09:38:00.001-05:00

I didn't know very much about Dresden, before we went there. Though I knew the phrase "firebombing of Dresden" and - to some extent - what it meant, I hadn't seen photos of the damage and didn't understand exactly what had happened.

On our first walk downtown, I started to realize that I was missing something rather... large.

Most all of the "older" buildings look like this:
I knew the damage was from the firebombing but - quite honestly - I couldn't figure out the patterns -- why were some bricks fine, and others completely blackened? (At this point, you may be saying "uh, Margie's a bit of an idiot," but you have to remember, I'd just come from Berlin. I thought I had a pretty good idea of what bombing-damage looked like up close, as well as what reconstruction looked like.)

So, for anyone who (like me) just didn't get it, this is what we're talking about reconstructing from:
The entire city looked like this.* The reconstruction has been done using, wherever possible, the original bricks. Thus, black stone and white stone.

Before the bombings, Dresden was known for being incredibly beautiful. Today, though there's still construction, it is one of the most amazing cities I've seen. Walking toward the river at night, I was (truly!) speechless at what I was seeing. When I finally did see photos of the damage (and the one above is in the "less gory" category, as tens of thousands of people died that night) I started sobbing. Whether or not one thinks there was a reasonable military reason to attack Dresden - and from what I've read, most people call it a "terrible mistake" - the methods and the results were horrifying.

*Note: this picture is of the Frauenkirche post-bombing, across the square from the church in my photo. I hate to say it, but Wikipedia does as good a job as any in addressing the timeline and such.

Day Sixteen: Berlin

2007-07-26T10:02:00.000-05:00

Across the street from where my parents met is the "Hunger Rake," aka the Memorial to the Berlin Airlift. My mother was a flight attendant, which explains why they met at the bar closest to the only working airport at the time.

Apparently, the other "half" of the rake - forming an imaginary arch, eh? - is at the Frankfurt airport, where the planes left from.

The yellowish building in the background of the photo used to house the club where my parents met. Before that - yes, this is odd - it was Hermann Göring's air ministry building. 'Tis now the main German finance building, or something.

ETA: Once again, I couldn't post the best picture of the day as it was impossible to blur out my face. After finding the hunger rake (which wasn't terribly difficult), it was well past lunch time. We ended up here:

Yes, it's the House of 100 Beers. The other photo taken here is just classic.

Day Fifteen: Berlin

2007-07-25T08:30:00.000-05:00

The Kaiser Wilhelm Memorial Church:

Even with reconstruction - or maybe because of some of the newer construction? - Berlin is not, visually, a pretty city. However, my parents met here in the early 60's, and I've always felt a sort of romance about Berlin, despite the cold, hard facts.

Berlin was not the first time in the trip I felt the odd sense of history lingering about - you can't really be in Amsterdam without feeling it, can you? - but it started the part of our trip that was the most astonishing in terms of in-your-face recent events.

Day Fourteen: Berlin

2007-07-24T13:13:00.001-05:00

TGIT

2007-07-23T23:20:00.000-05:00

Yes, yes, I was a whiny bitch for most of Monday.

It was Monday. I'm allowed.

Happily, however, I found out that one of my other new ritual oils - Lionheart - is quite an effective kick in the ass.

Ah, Monday.

2007-07-23T09:05:00.000-05:00

Because of the timing for our summer session, I have 4-day weekends right now. They're great, but damn if Monday isn't even worse than usual. Today I need goals, or I will get nothing done.

~~11am - bike: 30mins.~~ - I have been out of the habit since my change in schedule two weeks ago. Must get back into habit.
1pm - work on dissertation: 30mins. - I know it's not much, but see above about "habit." ETA: why is this so hard to do? Seriously, I cannot seem to make myself open the file and work on it, even for 30min. Have decided to have a bit more coffee, take a shower, and start the day over.
re-read articles for course (1/2 done)
go into office at 5pm
grade three papers - must not fall behind on these - added office time because it's easier to grade there.

Things I've done that weren't on the list:

One load of laundry (I really needed to do that).
Cleaned stovetop.
Drafted odd email begging for scheduling change.
Cleaned balcony (see below).

I was intending to go into the office for the dissertation work, but I think I'm going to clean up the balcony a bit (sometime between 11.30 - 1!) and start working out there. My father is passing along last year's laptop to me, so I'll finally have something with battery life.

ETA #2: Okay, I'm fucked. I decided to put everything together for dinner because... well, because I didn't want to be angry at Mr. Squirrel, later, for not remembering to make something. I figured I would shower afterward, but as I was beginning to cook a friend of Mr. Squirrel's dropped by.

At times, this guy will stay for HOURS. He's already been here an hour, and I WANT HIM TO LEAVE. I can't take a shower while he's here, as the set-up of our flat doesn't allow for much privacy in cases like this. (It's private enough that I could shower, but... I'd basically have to take all my clothes into the bathroom and dress in a cloud of steam afterward.) Why Mr. Squirrel hasn't realized this and at least taken this guy into another room or out on the front balcony is beyond me.

I'm in a fucking horrible mood, now.

Day Thirteen: Travel Day

2007-07-23T09:00:00.000-05:00

Even in my journal, this day is blank. It was a long train ride from Amsterdam to Berlin: 6 or 7 hours, I believe. We got to the hotel just before dark, and ended up eating across the street from the hotel at an apparently trendy restaurant. Along the whole street, in fact, there was a line of club/restaurants that all served mojitos... that was the first (and last) place on our trip where mojitos were so obviously the hip thing.

So, I give you the main train station in Amsterdam:

Day Twelve: Leiden

2007-07-22T09:54:00.000-05:00

Because where else do you run into someone who has painted themselves blue for no apparent reason?

No morez!!!!!

2007-07-21T13:39:00.000-05:00

A macro story from 3000 miles away:

My mother was snoring loudly last night.
As is normal, my father nudged her -- this usually makes her roll over and stop snoring.

In her sleep, my mother sat up and said (quite petulantly):

"Why you roll me over???"

Day Eleven: Two sides of Amsterdam

2007-07-21T12:08:00.000-05:00

Yes, I mean that both literally and figuratively.

First, Barney's -- both a coffeeshop and one of the places to get breakfast in the city. Though I didn't partake of the greener aspects of the coffeeshop, the breakfast gets a big thumbs-up.

Second, the largest Buddhist temple in Europe. Very nice Kuan-Yin shrine. I should say, Mr. Squirrel and I have two "deity" (note loose usage of the word) representations hanging in our apartment: Kuan-Yin and Green Man. It seemed fitting - as travelers - to make some kind of offering at this shrine.

Day Ten: Amsterdam

2007-07-20T09:23:00.000-05:00

I skipped Day Nine. By this point, my camera battery had died, and (due to some really bad information at Radio Shack) I had a large and useless adapter/transformer. The camera was finally recharged in Dresden, probably 10 days from now. Almost all photos, therefore, were taken by Mr. Squirrel, and he rather likes "scenery" instead of "people."

The travel plans.

2007-07-19T10:28:00.000-05:00

First we discussed Spain, then Peru. Since we couldn't travel this summer, it's been the plan to travel after the new year, preferably somewhere warm (or warmer than here, which isn't hard).

There were some snags with the Peruvian idea, however. Mostly these involved our wanting to travel outside of typical tourist areas and finding warnings of many, many kinds about doing so. I got back on the computer and found amazingly cheap flights to Rome... and so the last several weeks have been spent pondering dates, times, and moneys.

This is the schedule I've come up with.

Night 1/2 – Rome
Night 3/4 – Sorrento (trip to Pompeii)
Night 5/6/7/8/9 – Florence (couple day trips, from here)
Night 10/11 – Siena
Night 12/13/14/15/16 – Rome

I've tried not to spread us too thin, yet see some of the main things we'd go for in the first place. Since I was... nine? Pompeii has fascinated me, and so there's no cutting out that leg of the trip. We had planned a night in Assisi, but it's now become a day trip.

Suggestions?

Day Eight: Mostly Travel

2007-07-18T08:59:00.000-05:00

Travel days aren't much fun. Day Eight started in Bruges and ended in Amsterdam; even with a relatively short train trip (three hours? four?) there was lots of bag-pulling, getting lost, and heat. Yes, still heat: at this point in the trip we're consistently hitting 100F during the day.

The room at the Hotel Brouwer (which I link to here because it's a great find, hotel-wise) was quite a relief. We were on the top floor - the "Escher Room" - and with the huge windows open we got every single bit of breeze and slept in relative coolness.

Plus, this was the view:

Not bad, I tell you.

2007-07-17T11:08:00.000-05:00

I just emailed someone to explain my phone issue (which is: I can rarely talk on phone to people other than family. If my anxiety gets bad, phone use becomes essentially impossible.*)

At this point, I don't really care if people understand the phone issue, but in the current situation I felt a need to explain why I wasn't in phone contact.

(I figure people won't understand anyway, but thought I'd try.)

Went into the living room, very pleased with myself for sending said email. Informed Mr. Squirrel that I had been very honest about the issue, and hoped that people understood.

Mr. Squirrel responded with blank stare.

Hello! How can someone have lived with me for five years without realizing this? Or, apparently, without paying attention when I've talked about it at length?

*On edit: This is ongoing. I lost a really cool internship my junior year of undergrad - 15 years ago? - because they wanted me to cold-call news desks about events. I would sit there, phone in hand, and freak out. I've tried lots of things to get over this, and at this point it's only really bad when I'm already in massive anxiety mode.

Something rarely seen:

2007-07-17T09:35:00.001-05:00

Margie on a bike.
(Day 7: Bruges)

Lots of Random Stuff

2007-07-16T23:27:00.000-05:00

Accomplished almost everything on earlier list. Due to issues with exercise bike, did not bike. Walked instead.
Some of my stress comes from the life of an adjunct, and I know this. Summers in particular can be a financial bitch. Since I have a good semester lined up in fall I've been less stressed than usual, but this was the pay period between summer sessions... which means no paycheck.
Er, must write dissertation, or I'll be doing this for another year guaranteed.
Despite money woes, we have settled on a trip in January. It will be easy if I teach 5 courses in fall, less easy but managable on 4 classes. Instead of Peru, we decided on Italy.
Yes, Italy is more expensive overall than Peru, but in winter it's really not bad.
It will be nicer in winter there than it is here.
Have I ever posted that we have the best landlords ever? We knew them before renting this place, and we trade off taking care of kitties when the other couple is traveling. Our cats - who are two picky ones and one slut - all love them, so we can leave without worry.
If anyone has tips for Rome or Florence (or Assisi or Siena or Pompeii) please share.

(and day five of anxiety)

2007-07-16T10:34:00.000-05:00

Something is definitely up.
I woke up last night with a panic attack, and as today goes on I'm feeling more and more anxious.

I have come up with a plan:
1. ~~Blog about it. I have to get it out somewhere, and just telling Mr. Squirrel about it doesn't seem to help much. Also, it helps me set other goals.~~
2. Go to campus and finish up copying/prep for class tonight. The less I have to fake worry about class, the better. (I say "fake worry" because in anxiety mode I will latch onto anything possible to worry about, even a class that I could teach in my sleep.)
3. ~~Come home, finish re-reading articles for class. Since it's been a couple months since I read them, I might as well skim them again.~~
4. Exercise. I figure if my abs are exhausted, I can't maintain tension in them (like I'm doing right now). Will also go for a walk with Mr. Squirrel before class.
5. Teach. Although I can work myself into a frenzy about class - see #2 about fake worry - when I'm finally in class and teaching it's a good energy release, and I'm rarely nervous.

Part of the problem here is that I'm in strictly-non-phone phase when I'm this anxious. I can talk to my family, but that's about it... the very idea of picking up the phone to call anyone else makes me shake. Obviously, this isn't the best time for that particular phobia, considering recent events, because I'm supposed to be supportive rather than completely unavailable.

Let's face it, though, the recent death is obviously affecting my anxiety, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't. For a 34-year old woman to drop dead in her own home... well, that's just exactly everything my anxiety centers around, eh?

Plus, I've already been getting some negative feedback about how much time (read: apparently not enough) I'm devoting to this friend. I guess the expected reaction to that kind of criticism is that one will become more available? Unfortunately, I don't work that way. I get more nervous about things, and then the Very Big Panic Attack hits, and I'm worthless for much of anything.

While I would love to be able to finish this post with "but this is about being there for my friend, and not about me," that would also be a total lie. It's just not that easy to push through the anxiety issues, or I would have done so already. So, I do what I can and - I guess - everyone will think I'm a total bitch.

On edit: so far, so good. About to move on to mind-numbing/body-tiring exercise.

Day Six: Welcome to Bruges

2007-07-16T09:32:00.000-05:00

I have to say, the photo of me drinking a Hoegaarden the size of my head is a much more appropriate pictorial summary of Bruges. However, these will have to do. First, the belfry:
Second, a view over part of the canal system:

On Love of Bed.

2007-07-15T22:37:00.000-05:00

I know many people love their bed, but damn if I'm not infatuated with mine. I love everything about it: where it is in the room (which is more important than some people realize); the mattress itself; my dark grey cotton sheets; my pillow.

Luckybuzz has recently fed my addiction to BPAL in a whole new direction, and it has affected the bed. I discovered the lovely Somnium scents first, and was quite happy with Temple of Dreams and Somnus. Then, Buzz ~~told me of~~ enabled me to Dorian: A Victorian fougere with three pale musks and dark, sugared vanilla tea.

I'm now pretty lost at night if I don't have Dorian. My pillowcase retains the scent after a couple nights, and I'm thinking linen spray might be a good idea. Good gosh, Buzz, what have you created?

2007-07-15T14:33:00.000-05:00

As seen at Canada's...
You'd think the picture I chose was sorta a looking-sideways type, eh? It wasn't. I have to agree that I have Rachel Weisz's nose.

Edit: Okay, the fact that it wasn't fitting properly in my frame was bothering me.

Day Five: I lied

2007-07-15T09:34:00.000-05:00

Oddly, it wasn't a big photo day, and all of the good ones are non-anonymous. We tried to see the catacombs in Paris, but didn't make it in time. Spent most of the day wandering around and drinking in little cafes.

Okay, on edit (and thanks to a trial of Photoshop, which I need desperately):
Mr. Squirrel & the Arc de Triomphe.

I had a much longer post about other things, but I feel as though I might just be an evil bitch. And it's all too complicated to blog about, anyway.

On the brighter side of things: it's a lovely rainy day, and I found plane tickets to Italy for a really good price.

Day Four: Bastille Day

2007-07-14T11:33:00.000-05:00

Pre-fireworks view from our picnic on the Champ de Mars:

Day Three: Versailles

2007-07-13T10:02:00.000-05:00

Versailles is definitely worth the trip. I'm not big on wandering through palaces, but the gardens of the palace are amazing (and huge).

The best part is Marie Antoinette's Hamlet -- this was, really, the only thing I wanted to see, and it was as bizarrely cute as I thought it would be. Luckily, it was also almost completely empty as we were wandering around, because it was late in the day. After the horrific crowds in the palace, this place was heavenly.

(We interrupt the honeymoon pictures)

2007-07-12T21:37:00.000-05:00

I've started feeling pretty panic-y and nasty tonight. Most of the night I've been restless, and it's now doing a segueway into anxiety.

Joy.

I wouldn't mind meditating right now - I even have new Twilight Alchemy oils to try - but my study is so messy that it's not a real option. So, even though it's almost 11pm, I'm off to start cleaning the study.

Day Two

2007-07-12T16:00:00.001-05:00

Rear of Notre Dame, including those funky little apostles marching up the spire. Note: clouds! I'm not sure how often you'll see those in photos of this trip. Not, at least, until Prague.

One Year Ago Today.

2007-07-11T12:03:00.000-05:00

This time last year - give or take a few hours - we arrived in Paris to start our honeymoon. I've been pondering the idea of posting a picture per day, in celebration of a good trip.

I give you the first actual picture Mr. Squirrel took:
That is me, sitting in the courtyard of our Paris B&B, waiting to check in to our room. It may also be the last time I wore jeans in the entire trip, as it was already hitting 95F at noon.

Also, some days there might be two, because I'm a sucker for photos.
This is nearing the end of day one: the super-touristy restaurant right near the Eiffel Tower. I include this because just last week I realized that the lack of outdoor seating in bars and restaurants around here makes me sad. This was where we toasted the beginning of our trip (yes, with champagne) and ate something before wandering back to the B&B and collapsing. (Note: we had arrived at 7.30am that day. By 9pm, we were both knackered.)

2007-07-09T09:55:00.000-05:00

Apparently that knot in my stomach wasn't just from stress. I was up all last night sick, and I swear I've never actually felt my stomach muscles quiver in quite that way, before. I'm assuming it was caused by the lobster (!) that my neighbors/landlords made for dinner last night... but damn. Not much fun. I still don't feel much like eating anything, this morning.

I have, however, pretty much finished the syllabus and I think it's improved over last time I taught this. I need more time to rework the whole thing (readings, assignments, etc.), but that time is not now.

Bullets. They're just bullets.

2007-07-08T21:13:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow (Monday) starts the second session of summer courses. My syllabus is not finished.
Our friend's wife died last weekend, and the last week has been spent trying to help him cope. I'm not sure if any of us helped, or not. Or if "help" is possible, in this situation.
I'm trying to decide if it will be possible to pass one of my fall courses to friend (above). I realize that adjunct courses are not quite that malleable, but he needs the money more than I do. Am figuring that being honest about the situation to the chair of that department is the best bet.
Much of this has left me with a knot the size of Montana in my stomach.

What exactly is this?

2007-06-25T21:54:00.001-05:00

Tonight, I came across the cats in this position.

Little Guy (the Siamese) originally was asleep with one leg on either side of Winter.

Hmmmmm.

Oh, and...

2007-06-21T23:01:00.000-05:00

Following up on that last Peru post, an odd shower experience:

This morning, I finished off my shampoo. Because of this, I didn't much feel like using the normal conditioner I use.

No, that doesn't really make sense. It wasn't that I was out of shampoo and therefore was just wetting my hair... I had just enough shampoo for today's shower. However, non-matching levels of shampoo and conditioner apparently make me uncomfortable.

Anyway, I peeked out of the shower to see if I had any other options, and what I saw on the shelf was a nearly-empty bottle of conditioner (Back to Basics Blue Lavender). Suddenly happier and more comfortable, I grabbed that, and applied as directed.

I was immediately overcome with a scent association, and was a bit overwhelmed with it -- the last time I used this particular conditioner was at the end of our honeymoon, at which time I'd become sick to death of the Blue Lavender smell, and had shoved the remainder of the conditioner on the shelf for "emergencies." I had used it daily for 5 weeks, and several times the shampoo (same scent) had to double as body wash... I'd definitely overdosed on that scent.

This morning, I felt like I was standing in a shower stall in Paris, and it was the strangest damn feeling.

You all are probably going to have to put up with random photos from last year, starting in a couple weeks...

----

Random P.S. to comebacknikki: if you'd like to try the Mme. Moriarty perfume, I'd be happy to send you a bit! Just drop me an email - er, and remind me here to check that account! - and I'll send it out. The more BPALers in the universe, the better. :)

Way more fun.

2007-06-21T18:21:00.000-05:00

We had plans to go to Ireland this summer, plans that were canceled due to both time and finances. I really want to travel, though, and as my parents are currently in Romania (growl!) it's on my mind.

What I decided on - and what Mr. Squirrel has agreed to in his "I doubt it will happen" way - is a trip to South America during winter break. Peru, specifically. December in Peru is summer, although it's also rainy season... I don't mind rainy season (at all) but it does rule out one major thing (more below).

Why Peru, you ask? To be blunt, it's the least expensive trip on my list of trips and we are pretty budget-challenged; the timing is fairly good, and... well, it's Peru. It couldn't be a long trip - 2 weeks, max - but we'd be able to go from Lima to Cuzco and see quite a bit in-between.

Also:
(that should serve as the majority of the explanation.) What rainy season rules out is the 4-day Inca Trail hike: although you can still do it, it's rainy, and muddy, and not much fun. We'll have to settle for the train.

As someone who likes food, Peru is also pretty damn cool. I won't go into details about some of the regional cuisine, but I would like to eat most of it.

Peru, anyone?